Advent & Christmas & All is Not Calm

So today is the 1st of December.  
Advent & the countdown to Christmas Day has begun.

Everyone is jollier, everything is sparklier, everything is different ~ & therein lies the challenge.

One child is unable to make school.  

One refused to even look at the trees strewn with lights last night, claiming no interest in Christmas until December.  Actually, an impressively mature coping strategy from such a junior person.

Christmas will mean different things to different people, a time to kick back & relax a little more, reflect on what we're most grateful for, a time to make more time for family & friends, to socialise, party & gather together, to indulge a little more, a time to be a little kinder maybe, or to share good fortune with the less fortunate.

However Christmas manifests itself for you, & whether you love it or loathe it, it inevitably involves change - change in routines, change in our surroundings, change in what we eat & drink & how we dress even, change in the way people behave.

And if you're autistic, change is not good, however sparkly it is, however beautifully wrapped & presented.  Change is hugely challenging & anxiety inducing.  Routine & familiarity is safe.  It provides grounding, a sense of wellbeing in a world that is difficult enough to work out at the best of times.  Change is the removal of safe.  Change is dangerous.  Dangerous situations cause fight or flight responses.  Christmas brings many changes each day, every day, in every way.  So Christmas inevitably generates adverse behaviours brought about by the need to fight or flee.

So what do we do?

Well, if we were to follow the advice of our CAMHS Consultant, we'd have no visitors.  We'd try & keep things as normal as possible, with as little change as possible, no socialising, no drama over Christmas dinner - it's just another meal & if it's to be eaten on a tray in a bedroom then so be it.

I'm OK with that.  But what about everyone & everything else?

There are many articles giving good advice to survive the Christmas period.  I'll add some links below.  I certainly don't have all the answers but I know we will try & keep things as normal as possible while indulging the children (& ourselves) as far as we dare in the magic of Christmas, being ready to deal with the inevitable sensory overloads, the panic attacks & what seems like everyone's need to 'take control' (disastrous when this occurs concurrently).

My advice, or my mantra, in a (mixed) nutshell: 

* * Sparkles with Strategies * * 

Wishing you a calm Christmas time.

Photo by Stellie Chavez on Flickr

Top tips for a calmer Christmas from the National Autistic Society.

This article on Autism & Thanksgiving is relevant also.  I'm not a fan of the source BUT the content of this article is sound, in my opinion ~ it flags potential issues & suggests how to avoid.

An article via The Mighty by Catherine Contillo who describes her 
3 biggest challenges of the holiday season as someone with autism.


 17 Tips to make Thanksgiving more comfortable for kids, from The Mighty again.
Personally, we do No. 6 every time which also makes most of the others easy to implement!

Finally, in the words of Benjamin Franklin:

"By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail."