tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73256403903669320412024-03-13T12:15:54.346+00:00An Affinity with AA Native Autistic Talking Autistic | Ex Snr Mgr with 30 yrs' experience of being #AutisticAtWork | Muddling MenopAutistic Ma of an #AutismRich fam with over 100 yrs' lived experience of being autistic in a generally (not wholly) disabling society. I leak thoughts here & in other social channels. Spaces to ponder, collate & share all things autism to contribute in some way to a truer understanding, appreciation, inclusion & equality of autistic people. Please amble on in.An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-78531248315272753252021-12-13T12:56:00.002+00:002021-12-13T12:57:33.924+00:00Sending out an SOS with a Sprinkle of Seasonal Wishes<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span><i style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Trigger Warning:</b></span></i></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: medium;"><i><span lang="EN-US">An analogy of the UK's national mental health crisis & </span><o:p></o:p></i></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: medium;"><i><span lang="EN-US">consequences of unmet mental health needs.</span><o:p></o:p></i></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: medium;"><i><span lang="EN-US"><b>Ends with options for seeking urgent help.</b></span></i></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: medium;"><i><span lang="EN-US"><b><br /></b></span></i></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><i><span lang="EN-US"></span></i></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgKBzkbyBCGozcSCwMzU_L-PvamuFLmgcpx1LF3pk8PQ1sFHM1xqQHKNr2bbbdXgJm0He1KyX9TzEstweQ3x-bi5VB1WEIWU2lbEraGGbIAAlhWChHodrB1asAJys6sOXvW6LWaxFynimqKGOXzwRSbDqVWCvw3lY5sgNc-WcS8M_O8JsfxsMyeRyFyRQ=s1024" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="615" data-original-width="1024" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgKBzkbyBCGozcSCwMzU_L-PvamuFLmgcpx1LF3pk8PQ1sFHM1xqQHKNr2bbbdXgJm0He1KyX9TzEstweQ3x-bi5VB1WEIWU2lbEraGGbIAAlhWChHodrB1asAJys6sOXvW6LWaxFynimqKGOXzwRSbDqVWCvw3lY5sgNc-WcS8M_O8JsfxsMyeRyFyRQ=w400-h240" width="400" /></a></i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><i><i style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image by Katrin Korfmann via Pinterest</span></span></i></i></span></div><p></p><p class="Body"><br /></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">As an “inclusive & tolerant” society,</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">we were appalled recently by scenes of officials seemingly standing by as desperate children & adults risked, & ultimately lost, their precious lives boarding an insubstantial boat, heading into treacherous seas seeking safety.</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: x-large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Yet we remain indifferent, maybe ambivalent,</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">to a similar scenario in our own mental health system.</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: x-large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Too many children & adults, struggling to fit in </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">& excluded from their “inclusive & tolerant” society, find themselves fighting for their precious lives, metaphorically flailing in treacherous seas seeking safety. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: x-large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Rescue boats advertise their presence, </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">& caring practitioners point the way, but the life lines are overloaded & seemingly inaccessible for many. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Some officials glance, then sail superiorly by, </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">muttering things like “you’ll grow out of it” or “get a job” or “in my opinion the risk of you actually drowning is low so it’s not worth me acting”.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Some officials stop to reprimand those seeking safety, pointing out the seriously ill people on land needing their help, or limiting their help to those already below the surface.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Other officials say there’s no space on the boats </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">& the struggling children & adults must wait in the treacherous seas until space becomes available, which will be years, throwing in a selection of bouyancy aids to try meanwhile.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Then boats appear on the horizon promising space </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">but, having been “too well” for earlier boats, you’re now deemed “too unwell” for these boats, or you’re denied access because you’re waiting in line for other distant boats.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Some tell of remote rocks you may rest on </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">but only at certain times of the day, so time your desperation accordingly.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Some offer boats in glass bottles, </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">for those with the means of breaking through glass.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"> And for those with autistic sick brains </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">the obstacles to safety swell. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Then, some officials say they can’t help </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">because they’ve only been trained to save people with non-autistic sick brains.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Other officials might tell you not to even try </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">getting on their boats because they’re not suitable for people with autistic brains, failing to notice, in that moment, any boat is better than no boat & failing to acknowledge that people with autistic brains have likely been in the water much, much longer (their flailing in treacherous seas normalised) & autistic brains are much, much more likely to succumb to it’s depths*. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">The trauma of flailing in treacherous seas, </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">unaided for so long, numbs the autistic brain & silences autistic screams; & these desperate souls are passed by for those whose needs are deemed greater because they can still scream.</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">It’s as if autistic souls were given life vests </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">but without a whistle for drawing attention.</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Without a whistle, & with screaming silenced </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">by catatonia misinterpreted as a state of relative calm by officials, we flail, unheard & untreated, drowning unseen*.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">To those in boats (those boats we're all supposed to be in, even if we're in different boats) I say:</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"> Look again at the choppy waters around the boats </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">(those on bigger boats, further from the sea’s surface, may need to look harder): what looks like breaking waves may actually be the desperate waves of struggling, broken children & adults seeking safety whilst officials stand by.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Appalled?</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">This advent, these are my seasonal wishes:</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">To see free ships come sailing in, </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day, </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">To see free ships come sailing in,</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">breaking through the dark.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">To see free ships come sailing in, </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">And all the bells on earth to ring,</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">And all the angels in heaven to sing, </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">I wish for sufficient & suitable spaces </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">on substantial boats for desperate souls when travel across treacherous seas is unavoidable to be safe;</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">I wish officials on shore would intervene earlier </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">to help the struggling children & adults feel safe on land, minimising displacement & reducing the volume of desperate souls in treacherous seas.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">I wish society would flex & evolve </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">to better include struggling children & adults so they feel safe where they are, anchored to solid ground, thriving autonomously, Captains of their own ships, officials standing by & saluting rightfully.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">I wish. I wish. I wish.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Save Our (Desperate) Souls</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">~o0o~</span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans;"><i><span style="font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-US">* Autistic adults who do not have a learning disability are <b>9 times</b> more likely to die from suicide; autistic children are <b>28 times</b> more likely to think about or attempt suicide (source </span><span class="Hyperlink0"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://www.autistica.org.uk/what-is-autism/signs-and-symptoms/suicide-and-autism" target="_blank">autistica.org</a></span></span><span lang="EN-US">).</span></span></i><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">~o0o~ </span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">An Aside: </span><span style="color: #666666;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">For as long as I can remember, </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">even in calm waters or back on land, </span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">I’ve always feared death by drowning. I heard it said once that the way you most fear dying is the way you will die. I’ve no idea how true this is, nor have I dwelt overly on such a harbinger of gloom, but recently I'm forced to acknowledge I often feel I'm drowning metaphorically, if not literally. Although, I don't intend to!</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgqkxP9TJuGhqIgrBlcI5revKZwGJ2w3VeN9rAKFdMwGhRyFclxfKRt7BL7mDplGQ78NeuZN-115rxkJbpOPXq3DqRMXxSBHZN8hkavCrFnbE5CjkGYuYxIgQT4UoBpzu6i5RlP1R1fduy2FETpvdcmdeTPxwzK3We9r5nsZmzAk_3ymY1RnRXva2h3JA=s682" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="682" data-original-width="682" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgqkxP9TJuGhqIgrBlcI5revKZwGJ2w3VeN9rAKFdMwGhRyFclxfKRt7BL7mDplGQ78NeuZN-115rxkJbpOPXq3DqRMXxSBHZN8hkavCrFnbE5CjkGYuYxIgQT4UoBpzu6i5RlP1R1fduy2FETpvdcmdeTPxwzK3We9r5nsZmzAk_3ymY1RnRXva2h3JA=w400-h400" width="400" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image by Sarah Lee on flickr via Pinterest</span></span></div><p></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">~o0o~</span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p class="Body"><span style="font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Unconvinced of the crisis?</i> </span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Watch “</span><span class="Hyperlink0"><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0011nfq" target="_blank"><span lang="EN-US">Dr Alex: Our Young Mental Health Crisis</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US">” filmed for BBC Children in Need 2021</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p class="Body"><span style="font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Struggling yourself? </i> </span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">If you need help now there </span><span lang="EN-US">are </span><span lang="EN-US">options (for full list of options offering immediate help in the UK visit </span><span class="Hyperlink0"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/advice-for-life-situations-and-events/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/" target="_blank">NHS.uk</a></span></span><span lang="EN-US">): </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">"To talk, any time of day or night, free listening services offer confidential support from trained volunteers. You can talk about anything that's troubling you, no matter how difficult:</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Body"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18.4pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">Call </span><span class="Hyperlink1" style="font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;"><a>116 123 </a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">to talk to </span><span class="Hyperlink1" style="font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;"><a href="https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: none;">Samaritans</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">, </span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">or email </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">jo@samaritans.org </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">for a reply within 24 hours</span></span></p><p class="Body"><span lang="DE" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="DE" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">Text </span><span class="Hyperlink1" style="font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;"><span lang="DE">"SHOUT" </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">to </span><span class="Hyperlink1" style="font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;"><span lang="RU">85258 </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">to contact the </span><a href="https://www.giveusashout.org/" style="font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;" target="_blank"><span lang="DE" style="text-decoration: none;">Shout Crisis Text Line</span></a><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">, </span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">or text "</span><span class="Hyperlink1" style="font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">YM</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">" if you're </span><span class="Hyperlink1" style="font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;">under 19</span></span></p><p class="Body" style="margin-left: 29.4pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -18.4pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-indent: -18.4pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">If you're </span><span class="Hyperlink1">under 19</span><span lang="EN-US">, you can also call </span><span class="Hyperlink1"><a>0800 1111 </a></span><span lang="EN-US">to talk to </span><span class="Hyperlink1"><a href="https://www.childline.org.uk/" target="_blank"><span lang="EN-US" style="text-decoration: none;">Childline</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US">. The number will not appear on a phone bill."</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Reach out - you are </span><span class="None"><span lang="EN-US">not </span></span><span lang="EN-US">alone x</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiWEdSYLgLF7dCmbeqMWwPTYLrMWvIeNUmsRyKmywTR_XKuMacZfw74kD9-FAyFut63hzdaXnv8rqwqWRKIl1DrFljIp7B4-raOSyrP71Lb0kkC-BUwbUAvEEL8SXrraxZGF_a4RW67hHWGR0k5k-fm_zPt91FwaMP_ZzP_MtGc3uvyPx4DsUlHKco16w=s720" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiWEdSYLgLF7dCmbeqMWwPTYLrMWvIeNUmsRyKmywTR_XKuMacZfw74kD9-FAyFut63hzdaXnv8rqwqWRKIl1DrFljIp7B4-raOSyrP71Lb0kkC-BUwbUAvEEL8SXrraxZGF_a4RW67hHWGR0k5k-fm_zPt91FwaMP_ZzP_MtGc3uvyPx4DsUlHKco16w=w278-h400" width="278" /></a></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via ZsaZsaBellagio.tumblr.com on Pinterest</span></span></span></div><p></p><p class="Body" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Origin Unknown</span><br /><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="Body"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p class="Body"><span class="None"><span style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Rockwell; font-size: 17pt;"> </span></span></p><style class="WebKit-mso-list-quirks-style">
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</style>An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-32424443547323431142021-10-20T13:47:00.004+01:002021-10-21T12:57:12.875+01:00Aye to Aye Contact<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">This started off as </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">a </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;">“short story” with the working (never to be final) title </span></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><div style="text-align: center;"><i>“<u>Forcing Autistics to Make Eye Contact: Help or Hindrance</u>?</i> </div><div style="text-align: center;">I was set on producing an adapted-for-non-autistics, straight to the point, communication.</div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-L3MWDfAn4Pc/YW_au1_OJaI/AAAAAAAABKA/ZYPx8avfBwkSmql5FWa6A_VNbW4cNTQ5ACLcBGAsYHQ/s1024/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BContact%2BOranges.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="679" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-L3MWDfAn4Pc/YW_au1_OJaI/AAAAAAAABKA/ZYPx8avfBwkSmql5FWa6A_VNbW4cNTQ5ACLcBGAsYHQ/w265-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BContact%2BOranges.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image via Pinterest & The Infinite Abyss</span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"> </span></td></tr></tbody></table></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Inevitably, it’s ended up as </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">a </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">“long story” </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">with the full autistic communication experience because, in the end, the tangents & fuller picture are as important to me as the original short story (& I’ve already invested much too much time in multiple edits to get to this point).</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">For even longer</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">I’ve been pondering the persistence of </span></div><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">a general misunderstanding of what it is to be autistic. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">How society continues to misinterpret & vilify autism & mostly miss what are innate autistic strengths. It’s frustrating, scary & forces many autistics to remain “in the closet” about or, worse, unaware of their true identity & authentic autistic self.</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Anyone can look up autism diagnostic criteria but it does tend to be deficit focussed. Whilst we shouldn't underestimate the "deficits (or ignore the "difficulties"), for simplicity's sake I say:</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><i><b>Autistics communicate differently. </b></i></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"></span><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span></span><span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: xx-large; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ti6R8MF639E/YW_gQgpBieI/AAAAAAAABKQ/M3v5MOE1s0Urfh0yYKhe8zIrymfHOKKSwCLcBGAsYHQ/s596/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BSmiley%2BWall.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="594" data-original-width="596" height="399" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ti6R8MF639E/YW_gQgpBieI/AAAAAAAABKQ/M3v5MOE1s0Urfh0yYKhe8zIrymfHOKKSwCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h399/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BSmiley%2BWall.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image via The Chromologist on Pinterest<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">I’m convinced that the key to </span><i style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">mutual </i><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">understanding between autistics & non-autistics lies in a </span><i style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">mutual </i><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">appreciation, acceptance & accommodation of each others’ communication differences.</span></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large;"> </span></div></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;">I choose to identify as </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;"><i>a <u>Native Autistic, Talking Autistic, first language Autistic</u>. </i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;">If others can think of me as such </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;">then I believe we establish a stronger foundation </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">from which to forge that mutual understanding. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">And by language & talking I don</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">t necessarily mean speaking.</span></span></div><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8gXLQxns0CY/YW_dHXdfdsI/AAAAAAAABKI/LOCtXD2lgds2KXt0psxyrpoDIN5UmdGFQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1080/Aye-Aye%2Bnose%2Blips%2Bpainting%2BCarolyn%2BQuartermaine.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8gXLQxns0CY/YW_dHXdfdsI/AAAAAAAABKI/LOCtXD2lgds2KXt0psxyrpoDIN5UmdGFQCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h400/Aye-Aye%2Bnose%2Blips%2Bpainting%2BCarolyn%2BQuartermaine.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image by Carolyn Quartermaine via Instagram </span></td></tr></tbody></table></div><o:p><span style="font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: center;">Unconvinced? </div><div style="text-align: center;">Well, let’s investigate this </div><div style="text-align: center;">by looking at one facet of autistic communication that contravenes non-autistic communication convention:</div></span></o:p></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><b>(Eye to) Eye contact, or lack of.</b></span></div></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: xx-large; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7buZHRBDSwk/YW_inKJaj8I/AAAAAAAABKg/3k01oQYoivMjFcKHugqIvfV912bbBeafQCLcBGAsYHQ/s639/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BEyes%2BCovered.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="639" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7buZHRBDSwk/YW_inKJaj8I/AAAAAAAABKg/3k01oQYoivMjFcKHugqIvfV912bbBeafQCLcBGAsYHQ/w313-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BEyes%2BCovered.jpg" width="313" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image from ZsaZsaBellagio.tumblr.com via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table></div></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Let’s start by considering a scenario </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">with a deaf person who relies on an interpreter </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">to translate the spoken word into sign language:</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">What would you think </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">if the person “speaking” </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">became offended </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">by a deaf person not looking at them because they were focussed on their interpreter in order to “hear” & understand? </span></li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">What would you think </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">if the person “speaking” forced a deaf person to look at them whilst they were speaking? </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Who benefits? </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">How do you think </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">a deaf person would feel </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">if forced to look at the person “speaking” rather than their interpreter? </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Misunderstood, disempowered, disabled, upset, frustrated, angry even? Maybe excluded, victimised, bullied or abused?</span></li></ul></div></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large;">All possible.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;">Next image irrelevant? Keep reading ...</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="font-size: xx-large; text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-l9Nt0ZnqNDk/YW_hq5nn_qI/AAAAAAAABKY/-Jor-NlFjZEtVUiynDbOTiE6Q0TEeIb8wCLcBGAsYHQ/s600/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BBallet%2BShoes.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="400" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-l9Nt0ZnqNDk/YW_hq5nn_qI/AAAAAAAABKY/-Jor-NlFjZEtVUiynDbOTiE6Q0TEeIb8wCLcBGAsYHQ/w266-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BBallet%2BShoes.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image from christinawilson.wordpress.com via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large;">I'm enjoying watching Strictly this year, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large;">in particular the evolving relationship between </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large;">Giovanni & Rose (who’s deaf). It’s been a joy to see not only the successful & respectful inclusion & acknowledgement of Rose’s interpreters but also the efforts made by everyone to “talk” to Rose in a language she can more easily receive. And it’s been a joy to see how Rose has been enabled & encouraged to explore other forms of communication that work for her, like learning the Foxtrot by “feel” through the movements of Giovanni’s body.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: xx-large; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/sPXeG46eZQQ" width="320" youtube-src-id="sPXeG46eZQQ"></iframe></div><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large;"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">As a native Autistic (1st language Autistic remember) </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">I relate to this strongly. </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Notice how communication ... how “talking” ... is enabled by more than just speech, more than sign, but through touch, sight & so on?</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="font-size: x-large; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-e-JmJf7hHQI/YW_rZ1F6EJI/AAAAAAAABLA/VW7inTFgF_wWQQO5c7HdZERzwELIM1kswCLcBGAsYHQ/s536/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BHands.jpg"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;"><img border="0" data-original-height="531" data-original-width="536" height="396" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-e-JmJf7hHQI/YW_rZ1F6EJI/AAAAAAAABLA/VW7inTFgF_wWQQO5c7HdZERzwELIM1kswCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h396/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BHands.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image via Annette de Vries on Pinterest</span><br /></span></div></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">This is what it is to be autistic, with one big difference ... one big hindrance: others misunderstand & misinterpret a perceived “lack of eye contact” as rudeness or an unhelpful autistic trait, by which I mean unhelpful for the person “speaking” to an autistic. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">But avoiding eye contact is not unhelpful for us: </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Quite the opposite.</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: xx-large; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QpGnRljddX8/YW_jqz_7kAI/AAAAAAAABKo/6tKrdOzo9R0Ki6B8DDJAiKPuONOcSoA7ACLcBGAsYHQ/s1998/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BHeart%2BEye.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1998" data-original-width="1726" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QpGnRljddX8/YW_jqz_7kAI/AAAAAAAABKo/6tKrdOzo9R0Ki6B8DDJAiKPuONOcSoA7ACLcBGAsYHQ/w345-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BHeart%2BEye.jpg" width="345" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image from Borboleta via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;">Like Rose, looking away (or closing our eyes) can help us to better receive, interpret & understand speech. Speech that is often delivered in a style different to our own natural style.</span></span></div></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Not making eye contact helps us focus on the most important sensory input in that moment ~ maybe speech,</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> maybe not.</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Not making eye contact helps us filter out the unimportant & distracting sensory inputs many non-autistics are able to filter out intuitively including visual, auditory, physical </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">& so on.</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large;">Not making eye contact helps avoid the physical pain some autistics feel when eye contact is forced.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="font-size: xx-large; text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-p49X467C1Zo/YW_sN0HMkAI/AAAAAAAABLI/nUjoHsGXs8EKmvEksthTEh6Ohf3io1CCwCLcBGAsYHQ/s711/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BLady%2Bin%2BRed.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="711" data-original-width="474" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-p49X467C1Zo/YW_sN0HMkAI/AAAAAAAABLI/nUjoHsGXs8EKmvEksthTEh6Ohf3io1CCwCLcBGAsYHQ/w266-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BLady%2Bin%2BRed.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image via Pinterest</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: x-large;"> </span></td></tr></tbody></table></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large;">Other traits discouraged in autistics for being socially inappropriate or different to “normal & accepted behaviour” are exaggerated gesturing & exaggerated facial expressions. Again, these can be essential weapons in our armoury for receiving & delivering communication.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="font-size: xx-large; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OYuZ9D0sDy8/YW_srCTyeZI/AAAAAAAABLQ/3wnAIIW5i5oPdYaFcWLSDRc2yPvxyn8cQCLcBGAsYHQ/s800/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BDoll.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="533" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OYuZ9D0sDy8/YW_srCTyeZI/AAAAAAAABLQ/3wnAIIW5i5oPdYaFcWLSDRc2yPvxyn8cQCLcBGAsYHQ/w266-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BDoll.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image via Pinterest</span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"> </span></td></tr></tbody></table></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large;">I vividly remember times when the spoken word would not come & I resorted to willing others to “hear” my thoughts through touch (another potential no-no), telepathy & the occasional fortuitous accompanying music track! </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: xx-large; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EaAOklXds7o/YW_luAj85UI/AAAAAAAABKw/8RcBSTS8wrcmznpVLm46TfnNyOboURtnACLcBGAsYHQ/s282/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BSnoopy.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="282" data-original-width="246" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EaAOklXds7o/YW_luAj85UI/AAAAAAAABKw/8RcBSTS8wrcmznpVLm46TfnNyOboURtnACLcBGAsYHQ/w349-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BSnoopy.png" width="349" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table></div></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">With all this in mind, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">imagine how autistic people feel when they’re forced to “look at” & “make eye contact with” a person who’s “speaking” to them?</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Because that’s what’s happening to autistic people every day, in every town, directly & indirectly, in schools, at work, in social & even some health care situations. And, generally, autistic people do not have an interpreter (to interpret the different ways of speaking non-autistics have to autistics) so autistics have to work extra hard to interpret for themselves, to understand before responding. Generally, autistics (especially children, the undiagnosed or the unaware) don’t even know they’re trying to communicate in a language that isn’t actually their first language!</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">I do feel practices promoted as being “helpful” to autistics ~ in that they “help” autistics “speak” in a more non-autistic way so as to better “fit in” & be understood ~ can stifle rather than amplify autistic voices, disable rather than enable (more on this later). </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">So, forcing (eye to) eye contact is a hindrance to autistics, not a help, in the same way removing Rose’s interpreters would be a hindrance to her. Not forcing eye contact enables autistic people to better hear, interpret, understand & respond because “speaking” may not be an autistic person’s first ~ or native ~ language. </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: large;">As with Rose, I would like to see authentic autistic communication, in all its forms, respected & acknowledged with non-autistics making an effort to “talk” to autistics in autistic language ... for autistics to be enabled & encouraged to explore forms of communication that work for us ~ as a rule, not by exception.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="font-size: xx-large; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wp0lYhTEu74/YW_tl3WRsEI/AAAAAAAABLY/YuotxgNslS0-RAuwa7GOqEUFOrGptsmjwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1080/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BIn%2BThis%2BTog.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wp0lYhTEu74/YW_tl3WRsEI/AAAAAAAABLY/YuotxgNslS0-RAuwa7GOqEUFOrGptsmjwCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BIn%2BThis%2BTog.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image via crashboomdesigns on Instagram via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table></span></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;">At the very least give autistics space to communicate in ways they choose. Accept our idiosyncrasies & “mistakes” as you would accept those of others making the effort to speak in a non-native tongue or language.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="font-size: xx-large; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KCpUNeEmLcM/YW_uTR1MGTI/AAAAAAAABLg/dXirnl30xXkc9_ZlwIMmAkP_JxuxoeraACLcBGAsYHQ/s960/%2BAye%2Bto%2BAye%2BSoul%2BMusic.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="540" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KCpUNeEmLcM/YW_uTR1MGTI/AAAAAAAABLg/dXirnl30xXkc9_ZlwIMmAkP_JxuxoeraACLcBGAsYHQ/w225-h400/%2BAye%2Bto%2BAye%2BSoul%2BMusic.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table></span></div></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span>As an autistic who’s been unknowingly “speaking” in my second language for decades I may often appear fluent. I’ve practiced, observed, rehearsed, adapted & learned from many mistakes. I’ve obviously “managed” being autistic at work to a senior level but I worked hard to fit in & intuitively developed strategies to fulfil defined roles. But I still stumble, especially without structure, preparation, clear “rules of engagement”, purpose or “permissions” or when tired, overwhelmed or in crisis.</span></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><b>What might helpful communication guidance look like? </b></span></div></span><span style="font-family: Fira Sans;"><div style="text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="color: #666666;">learning each others' unwritten rules; </span></li><li><span style="color: #666666;">learning how to recognise the inauthentic; </span></li><li><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;">learning how to recognise & set our own boundaries & </span><span style="color: #666666;">how to assert ourselves when those boundaries are </span><span style="color: #666666;">breached (as they often are, routinely, as the less well</span><span style="color: #666666;"> meaning take advantage of autistic vulnerabilities & positive </span><span style="color: #666666;">autistic traits, to the extent that such abuse becomes </span><span style="color: #666666;">normalised & difficult to </span><span style="color: #666666;">recognise as “wrong”); </span></li><li><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;">learning how not to absorb & internalise others’ bad </span><span style="color: #666666;">behaviour to protect self-esteem; </span></li><li><span style="color: #666666;">learning what healthy relationships look like. </span></li></ul></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Learning all of this indirectly, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">without feeling these lessons are aimed at addressing deficits. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><i><b>Bridge our differences, don’t dam(n) our differences! </b></i></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8bs-eE7lZMo/YW_qHsQSGcI/AAAAAAAABK4/wMokITpIlPALWhHpcD9BVP47D44tbKOlQCLcBGAsYHQ/s750/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BBridge.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8bs-eE7lZMo/YW_qHsQSGcI/AAAAAAAABK4/wMokITpIlPALWhHpcD9BVP47D44tbKOlQCLcBGAsYHQ/w266-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BBridge.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image from The Bohemian Girl via Pinterest</span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"> </span></td></tr></tbody></table></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><b>Interested in learning more? </b></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Read <a href="https://twitter.com/katybenson20/status/1445369747932164099?s=21" target="_blank">this</a> excellently observed recent twitter thread by Katy Benson <a href="https://twitter.com/katybenson20/status/1445369747932164099?s=21">@KatyBenson20</a> on the commonly used in school SALT (Speech & Language Therapy) Talkabout programme (the trigger for me finally capturing my prolonged ponderings on autistic language & talking autistic).</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">This #autismrich family has contact with the Talkabout programme. I hope it’s being used selectively, avoiding the elements highlighted by Katy which are extremely worrying & damaging to already fragile autistic self-esteem. I hope the focus is restricted to the useful guidance on topics like being assertive, disagreeing respectively & what makes a good friend (because these skills are valuable to all).</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">For alternative thinking on how to approach SALT & set IEP targets with autistic children read <a href="https://therapistndc.org/masking-goals-autistic-middle-school-girls/" target="_blank">this blog post</a> shared by Emily Lees, an autistic Speech & Language Therapist, <a href="https://twitter.com/EmilioLees?s=20" target="_blank">@EmilioLees</a> on twitter.</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">For insight into autistic lived experience & the challenges of “speaking” when speech is not your 1st language read </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><a href="https://twitter.com/annmemmott/status/1448904677429501953?s=21" target="_blank">this twitter thread</a> (& others) by AnnMemmott PGC <a href="https://twitter.com/AnnMemmott?s=20" target="_blank">@AnnMemmott</a></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">For a good read on the subject from an A list autistic, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Temple Grandin, read any of her books, in particular </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">“Thinking in Pictures”:</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: x-large; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x1ITr3pmg6M/YW2W7t_3PhI/AAAAAAAABJw/Y7RGgUHsBVwA4xkxnuov5YzUicD4oHJVwCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/Thinking%2Bin%2BPictures%2Bby%2BTemple%2BGrandin%2B%257C%2BWaterstones.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="258" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x1ITr3pmg6M/YW2W7t_3PhI/AAAAAAAABJw/Y7RGgUHsBVwA4xkxnuov5YzUicD4oHJVwCLcBGAsYHQ/w258-h400/Thinking%2Bin%2BPictures%2Bby%2BTemple%2BGrandin%2B%257C%2BWaterstones.jpg" width="258" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><a href="https://pin.it/4CYoUOc" target="_blank">Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin</a></span></span></td></tr></tbody></table></span></div></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">For a fascinating read on the commonalities</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">of autistic authoring (&, by default, autistic communication) read </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">“Writers on the Spectrum” by Julie Brown. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">It investigates the writings of a number of autistic authors & highlights a set of common traits. I recognise each & every one in myself, including the “messy” writing process, a rich use of symbolism, the repetition, randomness & rhythms of narrative & motivations for writing.</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: x-large;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6FdpAosCIFk/YW2XnwdXuXI/AAAAAAAABJ4/z15TPtb7E6g8Z9gd95QsJwrAopDC6MxlACLcBGAsYHQ/s753/%2B.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="753" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6FdpAosCIFk/YW2XnwdXuXI/AAAAAAAABJ4/z15TPtb7E6g8Z9gd95QsJwrAopDC6MxlACLcBGAsYHQ/w265-h400/%2B.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;"><a href="https://pin.it/1O4gp6H" target="_blank">Writers on the Spectrum by Julie Brown</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table></span></div></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Finally, & by illustration (literally if preferred), </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">read anything by <a href="https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/about-2/" target="_blank">Mel Baggs</a>, a non-verbal autistic lady who found a voice through writing. And what a voice. The words I’ve read so far have resonated greatly with me. </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">There are those who do not appreciate </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">“verbal” autistics “speaking” for “non-verbal” autistics. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">But I would ask them to consider this:</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><i><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans;">“If I’m happy for Mel, a non-verbal autistic, to “speak” for me through her writing then why wouldn’t a non-verbal autistic be happy for me to speak for them?”</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span lang="EN-US"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MvBWrpbc6W0/YXAGQ2M_QPI/AAAAAAAABLo/SVyHkAA_nVwY4gRQPTP9BuBo5AYnE8drgCLcBGAsYHQ/s749/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BPhone.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="749" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MvBWrpbc6W0/YXAGQ2M_QPI/AAAAAAAABLo/SVyHkAA_nVwY4gRQPTP9BuBo5AYnE8drgCLcBGAsYHQ/w268-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BPhone.jpg" width="268" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image from referenceforww2.tumbler.com via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table></span></i></div></i><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Because, at the end of the day, others are assuming speech is the first language of those of us who verbalise. But it may not be. And others may assume those of us who don't verbalise can't communicate effectively. But maybe it’s the recipient who’s not “hearing” effectively.</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">As mentioned, I consider my first language to be autistic. I “speak” using a variety of devices, depending on my audience, my ability & capacity in that moment. I’m often comfortable communicating in pictures, illustration, symbolism, telepathy &, most recently, clay. But as many don’t seem to be tuned into those methods, I resort to spoken & written words (with a good dose of supporting hand gestures & exaggerated facial expressions) in the hope of being understood. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Maybe, having thought my first language was verbal for so long, I haven’t yet found my authentic autistic “voice”, hence the mix, the chaos, of communications from me. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">I’ll keep working on it. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6UEjjaEepLA/YXAG_AIOsaI/AAAAAAAABLw/_QVfyweZf-oVXbrsHRbhz0iPBimHMCKzgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1304/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BClay%2BHand.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1304" data-original-width="1000" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6UEjjaEepLA/YXAG_AIOsaI/AAAAAAAABLw/_QVfyweZf-oVXbrsHRbhz0iPBimHMCKzgCLcBGAsYHQ/w306-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BClay%2BHand.png" width="306" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Hand Shaped Magazine Rack by Barbora Zilinskaite: Image via Sight Unseen</span></span></td></tr></tbody></table></span></div></span><span style="font-family: Fira Sans;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;">The autistic author Tom Angleberger wrote a great <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/2015/apr/08/aspergers-writing-autism-awareness-origami-yoda-tom-angelberger" target="_blank">article</a> for The Guardian & talked about the challenges of word flow:</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>" ... the words are usually either coming out of my mouth & driving everybody to desperation, or flooding my brain & driving me to desperation."</i></div></span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">If you want to “see” how I feel most comfortable “speaking” visit me on Pinterest <a href="https://pin.it/1RAErdk" target="_blank">@saralawler</a> because, actually, it’s all in the pictures! Specifically these boards: <a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/saralawler/my-time/" target="_blank">My time</a>, <a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/saralawler/an-affinity-with-a-all-things-autism/" target="_blank">An Affinity with A | all things autism</a> & <a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/saralawler/an-affinity-with-a-all-things-autism/out-of-the-mouths-of-autistics/" target="_blank">Out of the mouths of autistics</a>.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">For even more diverse autistic & neurodiverse voices & their own unique forms of communication, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">see my board <a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/saralawler/the-a-tribe/" target="_blank">The A Tribe</a>.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><b>In a <a href="https://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">squirrel’s</a> nutshell, </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sf0i2Ea18gk/YXAKcYKiONI/AAAAAAAABL4/TdtreLQgnagdwAkTjdjm7QpHWvryV-rmgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BSquirrel.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sf0i2Ea18gk/YXAKcYKiONI/AAAAAAAABL4/TdtreLQgnagdwAkTjdjm7QpHWvryV-rmgCLcBGAsYHQ/w300-h400/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BSquirrel.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image by Red R on flickr via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><b>I truly believe the bulk of autistic difficulties & perceived deficits arise from being native Autistics talking Autistic (first language Autistic) but not recognised as such.</b></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Think of us as this & we may all find a more effective, accepting, inclusive, enabling way of being ... of living & working together, on equal terms, for mutual benefit.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Value our different ways of thinking, manifested in our different ways of “speaking” & communicating. </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Because to change us is to disable us. </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0V1h8Zz6H-c/YXALJhJO_4I/AAAAAAAABMA/ADglvufe8GUbrb2sS80WGBdPnvlNO3VEQCLcBGAsYHQ/s750/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BLadies.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="613" data-original-width="750" height="328" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0V1h8Zz6H-c/YXALJhJO_4I/AAAAAAAABMA/ADglvufe8GUbrb2sS80WGBdPnvlNO3VEQCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h328/Aye%2Bto%2BAye%2BLadies.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: xx-small;">Image uploaded by Ipereza on Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><br /></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Yours faithfully</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Native Autistic Talking Autistic</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">First Language Autistic</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">#AutismRich</span></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/anaffinitywitha/" target="_blank">@anaffinitywitha</a></span></div></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans;"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.co.uk/">AnAffinityWithA.blogspot.co.uk</a> </div></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: x-large;"><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span><span lang="EN-US"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;">P.S. <a href="https://animals.howstuffworks.com/endangered-species/aye-aye.htm" target="_blank">Aye-Aye symbolism</a> & general word play ;)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Aye%20Aye" target="_blank">Aye-aye?</a></span></span></div></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: x-large;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </span></div></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E4Fpds3BJ9I/YW2PJtZntdI/AAAAAAAABJg/hAWsTIcV71gRYYPB8vdMdB96TB68UkxBwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/Selfie%2BChocolate%2BBaubles.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E4Fpds3BJ9I/YW2PJtZntdI/AAAAAAAABJg/hAWsTIcV71gRYYPB8vdMdB96TB68UkxBwCLcBGAsYHQ/w300-h400/Selfie%2BChocolate%2BBaubles.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: xx-small;">Me by Me (Native Autistic Talking Autistic)</span></td></tr></tbody></table></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-align: center;"></span><div style="text-align: center;"> </div></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: x-large;"><div style="text-align: center;"> </div></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: x-large;"><div style="text-align: center;"> </div></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: x-large;"><div style="text-align: center;"> </div></span>An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-67487605213786416762021-03-19T12:12:00.000+00:002021-03-19T12:12:20.228+00:00A little appreciation<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lG57iAufuhc/YFST-07MxFI/AAAAAAAABGY/e-Xaes5opd0HBfI5sOo-VETx-6BGFen-ACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/A%2Blittle%2Bappreciation%2Bgarden%2Bseat%2B2021%2B03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lG57iAufuhc/YFST-07MxFI/AAAAAAAABGY/e-Xaes5opd0HBfI5sOo-VETx-6BGFen-ACLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h400/A%2Blittle%2Bappreciation%2Bgarden%2Bseat%2B2021%2B03.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Garden Seat by Me</span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p><br /></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for those who follow the rules & show respect for </span></span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">their fellow humans.</span></span></p></blockquote><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for those who share responsibility for adhering to </span></span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">those same rules.</span></span></p></blockquote><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for good manners expressed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for the fair, the patient & the kind.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for the wise who use their wiseness well.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for those who serve & service with constancy, care </span></span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">& integrity.</span></span></p></blockquote><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for easy access to spacious countryside.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for those who dispose of rubbish responsibly.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for my garden.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for my local garden centre!<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for the birds & bees & butterflies.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for the sky & the earth beneath my feet.</span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for my senses, even when they under or </span></span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">over-perform.</span></span> </p></blockquote><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for creativity.</span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for friendship & family.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for my children.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful my children share our home still.</span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for their physical presence & unconditional love.</span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for each tiny moment of joy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for happiness spread.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for moments of calm.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for the breaths that come easy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful for life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;">I am thankful even when I don’t appear to be.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-15MxmM_WwME/YFSUSNRvWtI/AAAAAAAABGk/S3nL_52BpCcZRbAcfy6cVQfFEvrqarP4ACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/A%2Blittle%2Bappreciation%2Bobscurred%2Bglass%2B2021%2B03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-15MxmM_WwME/YFSUSNRvWtI/AAAAAAAABGk/S3nL_52BpCcZRbAcfy6cVQfFEvrqarP4ACLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h400/A%2Blittle%2Bappreciation%2Bobscurred%2Bglass%2B2021%2B03.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Obscured Carnations by Me</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><br /></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><br /></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: medium;"> </span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: medium;"> </span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: medium;"> </span></span></p>An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-69871139780199121672021-02-27T16:18:00.002+00:002021-02-27T18:53:49.371+00:00We're Going on a School Hunt<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BjOj8xFZKso/YDpmKpSdY7I/AAAAAAAABDg/8-0CJA5qChIE2IAB4njTZQc9UihgN5z6wCLcBGAsYHQ/s1080/School%2BHunt%2BTitle%2BOls%2BNet%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BjOj8xFZKso/YDpmKpSdY7I/AAAAAAAABDg/8-0CJA5qChIE2IAB4njTZQc9UihgN5z6wCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h400/School%2BHunt%2BTitle%2BOls%2BNet%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Picture by me</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />My </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">lived </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">autistic-family-experience inspired re-imagining </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">of </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">the popular children's book </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">"<a href="https://www.waterstones.com/book/were-going-on-a-bear-hunt/michael-rosen/helen-oxenbury/9780744523232" target="_blank">We're Going on a Bear Hunt</a>" </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">by Michael Rosen & </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">Helen Oxenbury.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">This story is written </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">for</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;">all the often-neurodiverse children </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;">failed by the current education & EHCP systems, acknowledging that, </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">out there, </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">in the wild forests & woods of the current educational eco-system (or edu-system), are the good, </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">the very good, the very very good, </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">the not so good </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">& the terrible. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;">Having experienced all these,</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;">we are very thankful for all versions of good. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">I hope you know who you are & </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";">I hope others care enough to ask how you do it.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ruhgQhR5z38/YDqDvEqC6pI/AAAAAAAABFg/DlA5B2l1N9kpuK-j5MVfjIwcUSKc8n0jQCLcBGAsYHQ/s800/School%2BHunt%2BBear%2B2021%2B02%2B.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ruhgQhR5z38/YDqDvEqC6pI/AAAAAAAABFg/DlA5B2l1N9kpuK-j5MVfjIwcUSKc8n0jQCLcBGAsYHQ/w200-h150/School%2BHunt%2BBear%2B2021%2B02%2B.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: small;">Image via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><i><u><b>We're Going on a School Hunt</b></u></i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><u><i><br /></i></u></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans"; text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">We're going on a school hunt.</span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><i><span style="font-size: large;">We're going to find a good one.</span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><i><span style="font-size: large;">What a beautiful day!</span></i></span></div><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re not scared.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Uh-uh! Uniform!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Stiff itchy uniform.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go over it.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go under it.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Oh no!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’ve got to go through it!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Scratch pull!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Scratch pull!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Scratch pull!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i></i></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S_x1wA4dWRg/YDprdh9XPvI/AAAAAAAABE4/j9Ni3WZBuN4v6AmtC_z-RyjpwgAX7_LfQCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/School%2BHunt%2BKitty%2BCoat%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="493" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S_x1wA4dWRg/YDprdh9XPvI/AAAAAAAABE4/j9Ni3WZBuN4v6AmtC_z-RyjpwgAX7_LfQCLcBGAsYHQ/w308-h400/School%2BHunt%2BKitty%2BCoat%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="308" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via Pinterest by Darren Stone on flickr<br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going on a school hunt.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going to find a good one.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>What a beautiful day!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re a bit scared.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Uh-uh! Traffic!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Never ending traffic.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go over it.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go under it.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Oh no!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’ve got to go through it!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Rumble beep!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Rumble beep!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Rumble beep!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-huBfUUMC_R0/YDpnZrbmLyI/AAAAAAAABDw/iauYL8hggvYyAlirbhVqK4pRVIdI-7bsACLcBGAsYHQ/s1000/School%2BHunt%2BBus.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-huBfUUMC_R0/YDpnZrbmLyI/AAAAAAAABDw/iauYL8hggvYyAlirbhVqK4pRVIdI-7bsACLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h320/School%2BHunt%2BBus.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via Pinterest, The Wall Street Journal</span></td></tr></tbody></table><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going on a school hunt.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going to find a good one.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>What a beautiful day!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re scared.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Uh-uh! Grown ups!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Noisy random grown ups.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go over them.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go under them.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Oh no!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’ve got to go through them!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Chitty chatty!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Chitty chatty!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Chitty chatty!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FV2p7IU_UlM/YDqG65Db15I/AAAAAAAABFo/hP56JM-iRqsDPk0_kDMbkLRo0ZXnCXGHwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/School%2BHunt%2BGrown%2BUps.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="538" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FV2p7IU_UlM/YDqG65Db15I/AAAAAAAABFo/hP56JM-iRqsDPk0_kDMbkLRo0ZXnCXGHwCLcBGAsYHQ/w336-h400/School%2BHunt%2BGrown%2BUps.jpg" width="336" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: small;">Image via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span><p></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ep4JnBrf1fM/YDpsI5Ms5oI/AAAAAAAABFA/NgnWwavxE1smtkvFaz-BXCb0HjjEskUWQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2000/School%2BHunt%2BKitty%2BHats%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="2000" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ep4JnBrf1fM/YDpsI5Ms5oI/AAAAAAAABFA/NgnWwavxE1smtkvFaz-BXCb0HjjEskUWQCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h400/School%2BHunt%2BKitty%2BHats%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Image via Pinterest by Resales Botijero on flickr</span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><p></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going on a school hunt.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going to find a good one.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>What a beautiful day!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re very scared.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Uh-uh! Gates!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Narrow metal gates.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go over them.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go under them.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Oh no!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’ve got to go through them!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Clang squeeze bump!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Clang squeeze bump!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Clang squeeze bump!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-n8NjHynSzZ4/YDporWQDSaI/AAAAAAAABEE/jRPK8FrAJFQteWYGOtj8WkEhSMgYTNAmQCLcBGAsYHQ/s846/School%2BHunt%2BCat%2BGates%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="846" data-original-width="564" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-n8NjHynSzZ4/YDporWQDSaI/AAAAAAAABEE/jRPK8FrAJFQteWYGOtj8WkEhSMgYTNAmQCLcBGAsYHQ/w266-h400/School%2BHunt%2BCat%2BGates%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going on a school hunt.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going to find a good one.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>What a beautiful day!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re very, very scared.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Uh-uh! Children!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Lots & lots of children.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go over them.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go under them.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Oh no!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’ve got to go through them!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Shriek laugh scream!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Shriek laugh scream!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Shriek laugh scream!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rD-S1KXIvA4/YDqIjesDC1I/AAAAAAAABFw/oZBle43m20wY3GunVs2lfpIBkMbvYnkDACLcBGAsYHQ/s1024/School%2BHunt%2BKids%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1024" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rD-S1KXIvA4/YDqIjesDC1I/AAAAAAAABFw/oZBle43m20wY3GunVs2lfpIBkMbvYnkDACLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h400/School%2BHunt%2BKids%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: small;">Image via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lQbvQPLny5o/YDpnurvF-xI/AAAAAAAABD4/UrW9juC8lYQRIrrutTWCTr2Ja_9GgAnsQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1226/School%2BHunt%2BDolls%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="814" data-original-width="1226" height="265" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lQbvQPLny5o/YDpnurvF-xI/AAAAAAAABD4/UrW9juC8lYQRIrrutTWCTr2Ja_9GgAnsQCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h265/School%2BHunt%2BDolls%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via Pinterest by Apartment Therapy</span><i style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </i></td></tr></tbody></table><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going on a school hunt.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going to find a good one.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>What a beautiful day!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re panic stricken.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Uh-uh! A classroom!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>A chaotic, crowded classroom.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go over it.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go under it.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Oh no!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’ve got to go through it!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Hands on ears!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Duck & weave!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Run run run!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ptU3JoOkkmk/YDqIzoSRHVI/AAAAAAAABF4/gQKKGZ4LnHQ1zNCpmaxHwNWbOQTiLUoZQCLcBGAsYHQ/s927/School%2BHunt%2BCat%2BBlackboard%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="927" data-original-width="695" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ptU3JoOkkmk/YDqIzoSRHVI/AAAAAAAABF4/gQKKGZ4LnHQ1zNCpmaxHwNWbOQTiLUoZQCLcBGAsYHQ/w300-h400/School%2BHunt%2BCat%2BBlackboard%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: small;">Image via Pinterest, Joy the Baker</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span><p></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-73BaQVkxLGo/YDpo3lgKnRI/AAAAAAAABEM/5gE5LBBBSCsAG3AbthPcB404uHow74zzQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1200/School%2BHunt%2BCat%2BClassroom%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="795" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-73BaQVkxLGo/YDpo3lgKnRI/AAAAAAAABEM/5gE5LBBBSCsAG3AbthPcB404uHow74zzQCLcBGAsYHQ/w265-h400/School%2BHunt%2BCat%2BClassroom%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span><p></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><b>WHAT’S THAT?</b><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i></i></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SDjA5esI9qE/YDpsd1nUnNI/AAAAAAAABFI/3LLmcm8wLt4ePt5qF47tmwQwW7Ek_WiEQCLcBGAsYHQ/s612/School%2BHunt%2BWashing%2BMachines%2B2021%2B02.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="612" data-original-width="612" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SDjA5esI9qE/YDpsd1nUnNI/AAAAAAAABFI/3LLmcm8wLt4ePt5qF47tmwQwW7Ek_WiEQCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h400/School%2BHunt%2BWashing%2BMachines%2B2021%2B02.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via Pinterest, Amanda Jane Jones on Instagram</span></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>One size fits all round peg sausage factory!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Too many flickering fluorescents!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>No-one explaining what when or why!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><b>IT’S A SCHOOL!!!!</b><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hGHatowh_2U/YDppDHFJAbI/AAAAAAAABEU/r8jQuwoQezQBHMKbxyW3G8ulGtRoeTNeACLcBGAsYHQ/s480/School%2BHunt%2BSchool%2BBlocks%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="360" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hGHatowh_2U/YDppDHFJAbI/AAAAAAAABEU/r8jQuwoQezQBHMKbxyW3G8ulGtRoeTNeACLcBGAsYHQ/w300-h400/School%2BHunt%2BSchool%2BBlocks%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Quick! </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Back through the classroom! </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Hands on ears! Duck & weave! Run run run! <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Back through the children! </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Shriek laugh scream! Shriek laugh scream! Shriek laugh scream!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Back through the gates! </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Clang squeeze bump! Clang squeeze bump! Clang squeeze bump!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Back through the grown ups! </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Chitty chatty! Chitty chatty! Chitty chatty!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Back through the traffic! </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Rumble beep! Rumble beep! Rumble beep!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Back through the uniform! </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Scratch pull! Scratch pull! Scratch pull!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Get to our front door.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Open the door.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Up the stairs.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Oh no!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We forgot to shut the door.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Back downstairs & over the uniform.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Shut the door. <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Over the uniform & back upstairs.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Into the bedroom.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Into bed.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Under the covers with our plushies.</i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i></i></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Sp3yQJ3pgZc/YDppSEhaRxI/AAAAAAAABEc/7O7k3nzKpKspchCYkoKytGZs4SOxKIXvACLcBGAsYHQ/s560/%2BSchool%2BHunt%2BCat%2BBed%2BPlushie%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="560" data-original-width="539" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Sp3yQJ3pgZc/YDppSEhaRxI/AAAAAAAABEc/7O7k3nzKpKspchCYkoKytGZs4SOxKIXvACLcBGAsYHQ/w385-h400/%2BSchool%2BHunt%2BCat%2BBed%2BPlushie%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="385" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via Pinterest</span><i style="color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"> </i></td></tr></tbody></table><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><i style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><b><span style="font-size: large;">WE’RE NOT GOING ON A SCHOOL HUNT AGAIN.</span></b></i></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><i style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "Fira Sans";"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></i></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Except the law says we have to so we do .... <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going on another school hunt.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going to find a special one.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>What a hopeful day!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re not sure.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re segregated.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Uh-uh! It’s the same!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going on another school hunt.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going to find a different one.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>What a difficult day!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re not wanted.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re depressed.</i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re going on another school hunt.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Will we ever find the right one?<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>What a dark day!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re not well.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fR1_rLYB884/YDpwaQ62odI/AAAAAAAABFY/ScMxl_TNC6cwnnkw8aY_mRYu7bJMsM2JACLcBGAsYHQ/s640/School%2BHunt%2BSad%2BChild%2B2021%2B02.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="498" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fR1_rLYB884/YDpwaQ62odI/AAAAAAAABFY/ScMxl_TNC6cwnnkw8aY_mRYu7bJMsM2JACLcBGAsYHQ/w311-h400/School%2BHunt%2BSad%2BChild%2B2021%2B02.jpg" width="311" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’re lost isolated broken & alone.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Uh-uh! PTSD!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Painful life threatening PTSD.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go over it.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We can’t go under it.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>Oh no! <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>We’ve got to go through it!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><b>WE <u>CAN’T</u> GO ON A SCHOOL HUNT AGAIN.</b></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> <i>The End.</i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>S.L.</i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i>o0o</i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">To quote Alan E Beck:</span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: x-large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">"You can't do the Bloom stuff </span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: x-large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">until you've </span>done<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"> </span>the Maslow stuff."</span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: right;"><br /></p></blockquote><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A_TE58SJIaY/YDppqzjhFgI/AAAAAAAABEs/I50hL0cK7E0Ar98hL7dxNY5vHdth3mxTACLcBGAsYHQ/s1539/School%2BHunt%2BHealthy%2BHead%2B2021%2B02%2B.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1539" data-original-width="1071" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A_TE58SJIaY/YDppqzjhFgI/AAAAAAAABEs/I50hL0cK7E0Ar98hL7dxNY5vHdth3mxTACLcBGAsYHQ/w279-h400/School%2BHunt%2BHealthy%2BHead%2B2021%2B02%2B.jpg" width="279" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: courier; font-size: x-small;">Image via Pinterest</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"><br /><br /></span></span><p></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> The End End</span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></span></p><p class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Fira Sans; font-size: large;"> </span></span></p>An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-84419985411735129242021-02-20T17:51:00.001+00:002021-02-20T17:51:08.451+00:00Everywhere & Nowhere, baby<p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><br /></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Everywhere & Nowhere, baby</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">That’s where I’ve been</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Everywhere in my head & Nowhere in real life</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Been around the world</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Without venturing beyond the ubiquitous little shop on the corner</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Never escaping</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Every sight</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Every sound</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Every smell</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Every taste</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Every touch</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Every breath</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Enveloping</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Electrifying</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Edifying</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Energising</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"> </span><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Ever present</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">Ever thoughtful</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Even in absentia</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Elusive like Big Foot</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Empty & full, both at the same time, simultaneously</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Edging ever forward</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Easing back in</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Emerging </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">from Everywhere & Nowhere, baby</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Easy does it</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;">Enough now</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">o0o</span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Dpyd2UwN3Ck/YDFJk7g2UbI/AAAAAAAABB4/P3L6DICzcFsbd8V-E08a0Y1RI6S_kYnUACLcBGAsYHQ/s1257/Bovenetage%2Bin%2Bde%2BJordaan%2B%257C%2Bvtwonen%2B%257C%2BEverywhere%2B02%2B2021.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1257" data-original-width="904" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Dpyd2UwN3Ck/YDFJk7g2UbI/AAAAAAAABB4/P3L6DICzcFsbd8V-E08a0Y1RI6S_kYnUACLcBGAsYHQ/w460-h640/Bovenetage%2Bin%2Bde%2BJordaan%2B%257C%2Bvtwonen%2B%257C%2BEverywhere%2B02%2B2021.jpg" width="460" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-size: small;"><span style="color: #999999;">Image via Pinterest | Bovenetage in de Jordaan | <a href="http://vtwonen.nl">vtwonen.nl</a></span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-s20-LIXliqU/YDFJ_lmA0EI/AAAAAAAABCA/ivBHds36WpwLMxIyQPI89Z4nNQ-9yoSPgCLcBGAsYHQ/s768/Everywhere%2B%2526%2BNowhere%2B02%2B2021.jpg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="640" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-s20-LIXliqU/YDFJ_lmA0EI/AAAAAAAABCA/ivBHds36WpwLMxIyQPI89Z4nNQ-9yoSPgCLcBGAsYHQ/w534-h640/Everywhere%2B%2526%2BNowhere%2B02%2B2021.jpg.png" width="534" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: Papyrus; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #999999;">Image via Pinterest | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B0L6BpbioF6/" target="_blank">Litchis Innamorato on Instagram</a></span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><p></p><p align="center" class="Body" style="border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p>An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-30735630980170475092020-04-06T15:45:00.000+01:002020-04-07T11:50:55.718+01:00Autism understanding in uncertain times<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Scared?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anxious about things beyond your control?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Unsettled by change?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Worried by uncertainty?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Challenged by needing to communicate differently?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Upset by rule breakers?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Struggling to comply with new rules, suddenly imposed?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Concerned about people getting too close?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Annoying others by getting too close?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Difficulty interpreting others intentions ... </span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">will they go left or will they go right?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Resenting enforced isolation?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Irritated by your environment? </span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Craving friendship & human contact?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Overwhelmed by information, solutions & strategies?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Protecting with unsubtle accessories?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Creating structure & routine to feel safe?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Reaching out for things that bring comfort & joy?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Unusually absorbed by hobbies & interests?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Losing it?</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Papyrus; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Frightened for loved ones?</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Knowing some won’t make it?</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Exhausted from operating in a world different to your natural state of being?</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Welcome to our autistic world.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">We hope your visit leaves a lasting impression.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Remember us when you’re gone & don’t be a stranger.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">Stay safe.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;"> #WorldAutismAwarenessMonth #WorldAutismAcceptance #WorldAutismUnderstanding</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">#AutismUnderstanding #UnderstandingAutism #WAAM </span></span><span style="font-size: large;">#ActuallyAutistic #AlsoAutistic #AutismRich #ValueAutistics</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gwnbNxITchg/XoxawoK3epI/AAAAAAAAA-I/CW8FYxr5WnYlkAl1Ep08bQG6Kwwjunl1wCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/0AE5BAEF-8C39-4D7B-AFF5-CF56091D6D60.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1521" data-original-width="1521" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gwnbNxITchg/XoxawoK3epI/AAAAAAAAA-I/CW8FYxr5WnYlkAl1Ep08bQG6Kwwjunl1wCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/0AE5BAEF-8C39-4D7B-AFF5-CF56091D6D60.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Autism Understanding in Uncertain Times | An Affinity With A</span></td></tr>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-64165415048468502732020-03-29T13:28:00.001+01:002020-04-01T20:29:06.893+01:00Age of the autistic?<div class="Heading" style="border: none; break-after: avoid-page; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>A point of view </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>about the current pandemic predicament & </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>the autistic state of being.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Anyone remember the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjxSCAalsBE" target="_blank">Age of Aquarius</a>? </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">The song was the title tune to Aquarius, a 1970s arts</span><span lang="AR-SA">’ </span><span lang="EN-US">programme on LWT (London Weekend Television) with mesmerising graphics & the predecessor to </span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The South Bank Show. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">I</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">ve often thought (or on less positive days, just hoped) </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">that we might be nearing the cusp of the </span><span lang="AR-SA">“</span><span lang="EN-US">age of the autistic” ~ a time when autistic & other neurodiverse thinking differences are widely valued & willingly harnessed alongside their neurotypical peers. Now I</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">m wondering if the Covid-19 pandemic might be the rocket fuel that propels us into the dawning of the </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">age of the autistic.</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">As life long isolation experts, some of us autistics feel well placed to weather this current storm (for me personally, so far, it feels like a storm ... our tsunamis are something very different & much more personal). I</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">m not saying <i>all </i>autistics feel like they were born for times such as these ... individual autistic experience very much depends on individual circumstance & what & who is going on around them. </span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">But whatever our circumstances, I do believe our autistic traits include particularly appropriate attributes for coping with the current situation & that others ~ those less used to imposed isolation ~ could benefit from adapting to </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">our natural way of being. </span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">In fact, we all benefit from everyone being a lot more autistic:</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">~o0o~</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d8DBRNL8Buk/XoCPVxjQ4jI/AAAAAAAAA9k/Xcy8SGCHLHcsU4TV4bGYvKwsS4xHz7BdgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/window.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="359" data-original-width="250" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d8DBRNL8Buk/XoCPVxjQ4jI/AAAAAAAAA9k/Xcy8SGCHLHcsU4TV4bGYvKwsS4xHz7BdgCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/window.JPG" width="276" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">A Window via The Murmuring Cottage</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><span lang="EN-US">Listen properly to what you</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">re being told.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Take advice from the experts & experienced.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Interpret literally all official advice ... be black & white about it ... there is no grey.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Follow the rules ... to the letter.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Be patient ... people are working very hard & literally making themselves ill to help us all.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Be hyper vigilant ... observe well your surroundings & where others are ... then take positive action to avoid & maintain your distance Pac-Man style.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Show & act on intense empathy ... not just surface kindness (no judgement here).</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Be fair & just .... buy only what you need, enabling & empowering others to buy only what they need.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Treat everyone equally ... we’re equally entitled, equally responsible & equally at risk so respect that & do your bit</b></span></span><b style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">.</b></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Become an <a href="https://www.goodsamapp.org/NHSvolunteerresponders" target="_blank">official volunteer</a> if you want to help the vulnerable ... they may be more comfortable accepting help from official rule based sources.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Create ways to share virtual hugs.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Create new methods of communication ... </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>& observe how eye contact does not matter!</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Introduce routine & structure to your day.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>But be ready to just stop, review, adapt & develop new strategies.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><span lang="EN-US">Visualise stuff, especially for kids ... eg, as usual transitions disappear & the days begin to </span><span lang="AR-SA">“</span><span lang="EN-US">merge” don</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">t assume they</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">ll keep track of school days, weekends & holidays or be unaffected by this.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="ES-TRAD"><b>Enjoy solo exercise. </b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Learn to enjoy your own company & let others be & give them space, if they need it.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>If you have time, invest lots of it in becoming expert in a special interest.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Love your animals (or soft toys).</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="PT"><b>Embrace screens.</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><span lang="EN-US">If in doubt ask </span><span lang="AR-SA">“</span><span lang="EN-US">what would Pikachu do?”</span></b><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>Dwell & ruminate on this experience at length because when this passes, which it will ...</b></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, we must fix the world!</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><b>From a bit of an isolation expert, actually, </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><span lang="EN-US">who</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">s <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2018/01/actually-also-autistic.html" target="_blank">actually also autistic</a> ...</span></b><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dPsXWe5iTRs/XoCNB2SGyHI/AAAAAAAAA9I/J3_hG5GePtEwjVHgTeu1vrKq5HtG_wyMQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/indoors.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dPsXWe5iTRs/XoCNB2SGyHI/AAAAAAAAA9I/J3_hG5GePtEwjVHgTeu1vrKq5HtG_wyMQCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/indoors.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Indoors by Me (An Affinity with A)</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">~o0o~</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Yes, we understand isolation very well. </span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Learn from us ... we</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">ve been isolated, self isolating & </span><span lang="FR">socia</span><span lang="EN-US">l distancing (willingly & unwillingly) since forever & will continue to do so long after this pandemic passes, as it will. </span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">If isolation is unusual for you ~ instead of bemoaning the impact ~ I implore you to please reflect on your experience & think about those who are forced to live like this routinely because society doesn</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">t currently adequately understand, accept, adapt to or include them. Let this experience open people</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">s eyes to how some of their fellow humans live & promote new thinking about how society might change permanently to enable better co-existence. </span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">And, whilst I celebrate helping the vulnerable alongside displays of human generosity & kindness, please know that many have invisibly born the same disabling impacts on their lives with very little support (financial, emotional or practical) because the thing that impacts them so is not experienced, or even recognised, by the masses. </span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">As one of our autism rich family observed about staying at home:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span lang="AR-SA">“f</span><span lang="EN-US">or us it’s life as normal but without the stress or the guilt” </span></span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Having said that, it</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">s been more of an adjustment for those of school age (& those responsible for them) who</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">ve had to transition from learning at school to learning at home & distinguishing between home learning & homework. Much else has been written & shared on this.</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">So, whilst some autistics will be struggling severely with ruptured routines, enforced change, heightened anxiety & sensory sensitivity ... others will find themselves in situations that are less altered & even more conducive to their way of being. </span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">But for me, the important observation at this time is:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“how relevant the autistic way of being is to how we all need to be at this time”</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">& the important take out is,</span></span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> having gained this insight:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>“what do we do next?”</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">It</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">s why I</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">ve written this piece & dared to be positive because it</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">s at times like these ~ times when we</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">re forced to stop, to think, to reflect ~ that we</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">re offered the opportunity to reassess, change & evolve. </span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">To quote Deepak Chopra</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span lang="AR-SA">“</span><span lang="EN-US">All great change is preceded by Chaos.”</span></span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">It</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">s time to fix the world.</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">In my working life I was often warned off trying to fix the world ~ it couldn’t be done ~ I should concentrate on one or two key things, not try to fix everything. But I never really believed it couldn’t all be done & I invariably still tried & I achieved a lot as a result, sometimes to others’ annoyance & personal pain! Great things have not been achieved because people thought it couldn’t be done ~ quite the opposite. </span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">And we</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">ve reached a moment in time when the world really does need fixing ... <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/25/coronavirus-nature-is-sending-us-a-message-says-un-environment-chief" target="_blank">the earth itself is screaming out to us to do so</a> (link to Guardian Newspaper article "Nature is sending us a message"). And to do so requires new thinking ... different thinking. So maybe this is the “Age of the Autistic” ... when autistic & neurodiverse brains take their rightful places at the table to imagine, enable & enact the great </span><span lang="FR">change </span><span lang="EN-US">that is needed (or even chair the table).</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Like autistic Greta Thunberg.*</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">And, it seems to me, such seemingly idealistic ambitions might be particularly fitting & timely given those in the know say the Age of Aquarius has itself very recently dawned: a 2,000+ year long age of “great transformation”. The articles </span><span lang="PT">& prophecies I </span><span lang="EN-US">stumbled across were lengthy & complex but </span><span lang="IT">fascinating</span><span lang="EN-US">. One (The Open World Manifesto) included this biblical passage, believed to describe man reaching ultimate knowledge (line 1 & as visualised by Leonardo da Vinci in The Vitruvian Man) & the coming of the Age of Aquarius (last 2 lines). </span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Personally I believe in values over religion but I was intrigued to read this still:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US">Then the eyes of the blind will be opened</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US">And the ears of the deaf will be unstopped</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US">Then the lame will leap like a deer</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US">And the tongue of the mute will shout for joy</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US">For waters will break forth in the wilderness</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><i><span style="font-size: large;">And streams in the desert</span></i></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">I know it’s open to interpretation but it could very well validate my own thinking, don</span><span lang="AR-SA">’</span><span lang="EN-US">t you think?</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-54r8xhL8B3I/XoCTdBf3QcI/AAAAAAAAA98/w-Gft8lDEsg-KtN0QKPG9XElQo7sKr_XgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/vitruvian%2Bman.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="650" data-original-width="474" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-54r8xhL8B3I/XoCTdBf3QcI/AAAAAAAAA98/w-Gft8lDEsg-KtN0QKPG9XElQo7sKr_XgCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/vitruvian%2Bman.JPG" width="290" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Vitruvian Man via Google</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">One other observation ... there are a number of historically accepted autistics popping up in these writings, like Einstein, Newton & da Vinci ...</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">For those wishing to delve or simply seek distraction, an article from <a href="https://www.astrologyzone.com/age-of-aquarius/" target="_blank">The Astrology Zone</a> might interest.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Meanwhile, take care, stay safe & if you have to go out remember <i>social distancing = physical distancing</i> (not my translation but a very autistic friendly translation nonetheless).</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>Then, seriously, stay at home.</i></span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Dogs at Door (also via The Murmuring Cottage)</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">~o0o~</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Other articles, advice & resources abound, some of which are linked to here (I've not scoured but I consider them reliable sources ... pick what's right for you!):</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.acamh.org/" target="_blank">Association for Child & Adolescent Mental Health Podcast</a> </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround#more-stories-2" target="_blank">BBC Newsround</a> : scroll for Coronavirus Resources</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><a href="https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/anxiety-stress-panic/worries-about-the-world/coronavirus/" target="_blank">Childline Coronavirus Info & Advice</a> </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/for-children-and-young-people/coronavirus/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing/" target="_blank">Mind Advice for Young People</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/coronavirus/resources.aspx" target="_blank">National Autistic Society Resources</a> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/coronavirus-latest-updates" target="_blank">Understood Resources</a></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://youngminds.org.uk/blog/talking-to-your-child-about-coronavirus/" target="_blank">Young Minds How to Talk to Your Child about Coronavirus</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">& of course:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.gov.uk/coronavirus" target="_blank">Gov UK</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/" target="_blank">The NHS</a></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> & published on day of writing this post </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">(including an easy read version):</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-on-supporting-children-and-young-peoples-mental-health-and-wellbeing" target="_blank">Gov UK Guidance for Parents & Carers on Supporting Children & Young People's MH & Wellbeing during the Coronavirus (COVID-19) Outbreak</a></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--o0YSivrcvE/XoCPEFdnUII/AAAAAAAAA9c/rijmn-4TYJo4p_0x5rYHcArLk81fkACPACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/cooper%2Bawake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="559" data-original-width="561" height="397" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--o0YSivrcvE/XoCPEFdnUII/AAAAAAAAA9c/rijmn-4TYJo4p_0x5rYHcArLk81fkACPACLcBGAsYHQ/s400/cooper%2Bawake.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The Dog by Me (An Affinity with A)</span></td></tr>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>*As an aside ... Why is “autistic” so readily placed in front of the names of people who perform negative acts, irrespective of the relevance of the condition to those acts, yet never in front of the names of people who perform positive acts, when very often the condition lies at the root of those positive acts? Prejudice? Misunderstanding? Ignorance? Laziness? Presumption? Sensationalism? Scaremongering? Oh dear, we actually do have a huge mountain to climb don’t we ... maybe the Age of the Autistic really is further away than I’ve dared to hope ... but I won’t give up on my idealistic belief that we are capable of fixing the world ... as long as we’re brave enough to focus on the long term over the short term ... on life on earth over politics & commercial gain (even post pandemic).</i></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Meanwhile, & finally, here's a virtual hug from me to you.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hug via Pinterest (original source unknown)</span></td></tr>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-13576922855636620562019-10-10T16:00:00.000+01:002019-10-10T17:26:11.829+01:00Angels apply here ... <div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I cried </span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">the other day.</span><br />
<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">More accurately, I bawled a bit, crying out loud</span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I cried for my Dad. </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I cried for me & found myself wanting my Dad.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">So I wrote this the same day & have been silently sitting with it since, assessing how comfortable I feel with it. Becoming acquainted with it. And, today, I figured I’m OK with it ~ so I’m serving it up for you now.</span></span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s been quite some time since I’ve so specifically felt like I “needed” my Dad. I’ve written about him, talked about him, missed him, remembered him, smiled about him, cried about him & cried for him.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I can’t remember when I last cried out “I want my Dad”. </span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">After all, I’m a grown up of several decades, not a child. But, last week, I met that child again, face on ... a child who just wanted to be cuddled, to be loved & gently told “you’re OK, you’re loved, I’m here, I’ve got you & everything’s going to be fine.”</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s not like it was a stand out bad day.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">All my <a href="https://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">angel fish</a> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">made it into school & all completed their time in school successfully. I even enjoyed a second complimentary email (in as many days) about a stand out piece of work & participation by one of my angel fish so, actually, I’ve reason to think we must be getting some things right. </span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’d ticked the odd thing off my never ending to do list & was chuffed to have received a couple of responses from an autism-friendly group to an appeal for help in resolving what I shall call a logistical problem. </span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But in the process of progressing another “to do” I became distracted by an email which left me feeling “wrong”. I’ve read a few accounts lately of autistics being made to feel “wrong”. And I don’t mean simply feeling momentarily incorrect about some specific thing ... I mean actually completely just “wrong” ... in totality ... put down, inferior, in need of censoring.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So it quickly became a day that provoked some serious self-reflection & triggered this sudden, intense need for my Dad.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I feel like I’m getting it wrong a lot. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think I’ve always got it wrong a lot but maybe just not realised quite how often or to what extent. But when it arises from a group that’s meant to understand you, that advocates for your “tribe” ... then it’s tough to take.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">After a few days to consider, reflect & ruminate, I can see it might not have been meant this way ... but I’m not completely convinced. Maybe I was still reeling from the night before ... a changed social situation that I couldn’t seem to settle into & which left me feeling quite chaotic & out of control on the inside & like a rabbit in the headlights on the outside ... I hear myself saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, contributing when I probably shouldn’t, then not when I probably should. Mumbling, fumbling, confusing, self-sabotaging ... unable to find my place in this new, unfamiliar setting. Made worse because the looks, odd responses, withdrawing had begun, confirming my “wrongness” and, you know, it’s nothing new. It’s happened a lot, pre & post my autism diagnosis. However much I may have “masked” or tried to “fit in” & behave & speak in expected ways ... I’m not, never have been & never will be un-autistic, or neurotypical, & I’ve always stood out to some degree or another whether it’s because I wear something unusual, say something unexpected, behave unexpectedly, react over-emotionally or under-emotionally.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And it’s that “no getting away from it” realisation that drew in the sadness that pervaded last week, despite the acknowledgements of success elsewhere which, in themselves, have not come easily & can be inconsistent.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And whilst I campaign to celebrate our differences, it makes me so sad to observe & experience others’ responses to the assumption of “wrongness” in me ... that realisation that I’m not as “normal” as I might first appear ... responded to with furrowed brows, backing off, distancing & avoiding or silencing, censoring & correcting. These reactions just tell me I’m not valuable, not valued, that I’m “wrong”.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I’m not wrong, I’m different.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Different, not less (credit Temple Grandin).</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don’t always get it right ... but I’m not wrong.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But too often I feel like I am.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So I cried. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I bawled a bit. Crying out loud & wanting my Dad.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then I looked at the sky ... it was the sort of sky in which I’d imagine angels appear, a sky like the sky that inspired me to write <a href="https://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2016/10/angels-in-our-midst_31.html" target="_blank">"Angels in our Midst"</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">A sky, combined with the intense feelings of need, that made me plead out loud “Please come back Dad.” </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: x-small;">One of those skies, almost | An Affinity With A</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And ... as if in immediate response ... on the radio came Wham!’s <a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/261631059589099577/" target="_blank">Wake Me Up Before You Go! Go!</a></span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Random to the many who don’t know me </span><br />
<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">but more prophetic, maybe, to the few who do.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">By the way, this picture was taken later that same day.</span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Immediate positive vibe ... a smile ... completely cutting through that moment ... thanks Dad ... you were there all along.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So now the lyrics hold a whole new meaning for me.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s no longer the young adult me desperately seeking that permanent beau who would love me unconditionally. Instead, it’s a message from my Dad who loved me unconditionally (I’m pretty sure) & who didn’t really want to go but felt he had to & who maybe wished he’d seen me one more time before he left (who knows), who still wants to reassure me when I've had a</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/261631059589129728/" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;" target="_blank">Bad Day</a><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">(another song reference). And it’s a message to my Dad from a daughter, reciprocating that unconditional love & desire to remain connected.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And who can resist smiling at the mention of Doris Day? ... but that’s another post ...</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Still need convincing (or a smile)?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />Here are some lyrics:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>You put the boom boom into my heart (hoo, hoo)</i></span></div>
<i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts</span></i><br />
<i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jitterbug into my brain (yeah, yeah)</span></i><br />
<i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same</span></i><br />
<i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But something's bugging you (ha-ha, ha-ha)</span></i><br />
<i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Something ain't right (ha-ha, ha-ha)</span></i><br />
<i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My best friend told me what you did last night (ha-ha, ha-ha)</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Left me sleepin' in my bed </span></i><i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">(ha-ha, ha-ha)</span></i></span><br />
<i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was dreaming, but I should have been with you instead (ha-ha)</span></i><br />
<i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Wake me up before you go-go</span></i><br />
<i style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo</span></i><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);"><i>Wake me up before you go-go</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);"><i>I don't want to miss it when you hit that high</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);"><i>Wake me up before you go-go</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">'Cause I'm not </i><i>plannin</i><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">' on going solo</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">Wake me up before you go-go</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">Take me dancing tonight</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">I wanna hit that high (yeah, yeah)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);"><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">You take the grey skies out of my way (hoo, hoo)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">Turned a bright spark into a flame (yeah, yeah)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">My beats per minute never been the same</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">'Cause you're my lady, I'm your fool (ha-ha, ha-ha)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">It makes me crazy when you act so cruel (ha-ha, ha-ha)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">Come on, baby, let's not fight (ha-ha, ha-ha)</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">We'll go dancing, everything will be all right (ha-ha) ... </i></span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, I’m happy to believe this was a message from my Dad ... a Dad who loved to dance, who sent me & my brother a toy telephone set so we could speak to each other when not together, who believed disability & difference was never a reason to dismiss others or treat them differently, who died when I was 10.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I’m pretty sure my Dad is one of my guardian angels & has saved me on more than one occasion.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We need more angels.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We need more Dick & Angels (escaping to chateaus)</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We need more Doris Days!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And, you know what, after another night at you (don’t) know where, maybe I’m not as wrong as I felt last week ... sometimes it just takes time to get to know people ... sometimes it just takes time for people to get to know me ... like it took time to make acquaintance with this post ... take time ... make time for more time.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Angels apply here ...</span><br />
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-51887898715262102692019-09-09T10:07:00.001+01:002021-02-20T17:51:53.029+00:00S is for ..<div class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I like <a href="https://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/p/about-me.html" target="_blank">B</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Bang on about <a href="https://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/p/autism.html" target="_blank">A</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Am calmed by <a href="https://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2017/05/counselling-clay-and-chakras.html" target="_blank">Cs</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Clinging onto summer in September, I’m sidetracked by S.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some might say it’s an autism thing ... others simply autumn.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">I hope this little ditty resonates, autistic or not.</span><span style="color: #999999;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;">Calligraphy S | Canvas Art by Suhas Tavkar on Pinterest</span></span></td></tr>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">S is for ..</span><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for summer~still clinging on<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for shells~pebbles & stones~summer's souvenirs~scavanged & sorted</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for snap~Polaroid snaps~places & spaces~a sense of place~a sense of self <i>in </i>space<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for seahorse~starfish~sand<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for seaweed~sea life~beach life~quiet life<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for September~starting school~transitions & change~suddenly shocking<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for special~needs or no needs~interests & passions~Statements as were<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for Slytherin~Sonic~Science~sketching~stories~obsessively expert<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for story~our story~others’ stories~all too common~read, listen, act, share<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sharing~over sharing~even with strangers~shudders!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for syndromes~sensitive senses~sounds, smells, sights~senses assaulted<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for swinging~spinning~stimming~sensory seeking~sensory avoiding<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for socially~avoidant~anxious~starved~disabled~</span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">segregated~</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">isolated</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sparse~friends~friendless~sparsely friended~so special~dear old friends<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sync~in & out of~idiosyncratic~speech<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for speak~some can’t~we can’t sometimes~speech is cheap~it’s what you do<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for systems~systematic failures~sins against the vulnerable<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for striving~strive to survive~survival responses~constantly startled <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for stress~soaring~sleepless~sinews shattered~sanity snapped<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for scared~scarred</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for shout~slap</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for swipe~Swiper no swiping!</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sorry~we are~are you?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for spectrum~same issues~similar issues~singularly different~</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">not less<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for seeking~understanding~acceptance~inclusion~equality~</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">societal shift<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sugar~spice~frogs~snails~puppy dog tails~identity~shaken & stirred<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for self-identity~confusion~whispers~Careless Whispers~forced endings & beginnings<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sure~unsure~insecure~self-doubt~self-deprecating~</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">self-loathing~</span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">side effects</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for self-medicating~starving~self-harming~suicide~too highly prevalent in this community<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for shots~cigs~Southern Comfort~in the bottom of a glass~</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">spirits downed & drowned<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for soul~Save Our Souls!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for support~speech & language~psychiatric~psychological~</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">occupational~not behavioural</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for self-help~self-care~support groups~friends & family~fairly, justly reciprocal <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for self-talk~self-soothing~processing~acting out loud~speaking out loud<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for say~what you mean & mean it<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for settling~is that what I mean?~making the best of & grateful for life<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for soap~certain soaps~fresh laundered sheets~shoes & risottos~</span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">slabbed stoneware clay</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for structure~strategies~stamina~listening~observing<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for seeing~solving~thinking in tangents, circles & spirals~skilled problem solvers<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sleuthing~Sparkling Cyanide~Agatha Christie~lost in a book~</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">useful for calming<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for serious<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sad<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for Sara~sadly serious~sucking @ social~silly times lost<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for silliness~desperately sought<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for safety~sadly lacking <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for silence~p l e a s e<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sea<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for swim<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sun~sunflowers~bees<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sprinkles~or sprinklers~you choose<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for stars~sparkling in space~s a f e s p a c e<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sky<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for Skye<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for summer~still clinging on~sounds, smells, sights~senses sated <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for songs~solos or otherwise~food for the soul~good soul music~</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">soundtracks to life<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for songbird~soak it all up~Sandy & Danny~Summer Lovin’~no singing in the a.m.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for strong~soft~too strong~too soft~too sensitive~too slow~</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">too much~stand strong</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for standing~out & up~Stand By Me<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for shoulders~share some~free empathy~empathy rich~</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Lean On Me<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for Saturday~Saturday & Sunday~weekend’s here~sweet rest & recovery~I Don't Like Mondays<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sat~sitting in bedrooms~secretly hiding~hidden conditions<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sick~sick of~speculation~spurious causes & cures~sick with measles & mumps<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for science~studies & research~busting the myths~seek out the sound stuff<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sounds~shattering noise~the too loud shouting of doubters & haters<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for STOP<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for silent~Silent Night<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for shush now~settle~sleep sweet peas~sweet children of mine<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for sons~sisters~siblings~family~rivalry~love</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for spouse~Cherish the Love~self-love~Sacred Love~Sting!</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for snuggles~hugs~no hugs</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for safe~Maslow’s first basic need~now you can start<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for smart~find your smart~start~something~somewhere~never stop<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for self~self-actualisation~Shine~You Are My Sunshine~you are somebody~I Wanna Dance<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S is for swirls~smiles~Smile~sparkling eyes~granted wishes~</span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">sprinkled happiness~YES PLEASE!</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">A is all of these.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Via Pinterest</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Via Pinterest</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Via Pinterest</span></td></tr>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-81922958370238108802019-09-08T16:18:00.002+01:002019-09-20T18:20:55.128+01:00(Ab)normal service is resumed <div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I know my <a href="https://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2019/08/a-to-b-transitions-change.html" target="_blank">last post</a> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">was ludicrously long, demanding significant endurance capability. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I vow never to write another so lengthy.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I stand by the content.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's sound, in my experience.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I even have more I could add (& secretly want to).</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">There</span> are learnings & insights</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">as with most things in life. Not only about the writing but about the predominant subject matter of this blog!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On the approach, </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">the subject was just too large to tackle in one go, for which I apologise.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And, as previously, rather than pick from the ever growing list of posts to write, I will wait for the list ~ for life ~ to decide the next priority & inspire the next post. The best & easiest posts for me were those that rose to the top of the pile naturally ... organically ... so that's how I'll proceed.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The group thing seems to have withered & passed.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't have a great track record with groups generally, I'm realising (an autistic cross to bear arising from our communication differences). This was a good idea. But those groups that do persist, I guess, must do so for good reason ... so I should apply the same logic to those groups that don't fly & try to ignore the simmering self-deprecation & self-doubt. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On the content, I could have edited more but, to be honest, because the approach was not ideal, I'd already spent far too long getting to the point of publishing to spend any more time reducing it down to a more digestible size. At least there's lots of content collated ~ all in one place ~ on the one topic!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On being autistic, this post beautifully illustrates the time it can take to complete tasks as we offload everything we know before filtering, editing & reducing to achieve a more sensible, <span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">acceptable, "normal" sized knowledge download. In this instance, the latter part of the process didn't happen ~ regrettably but deliberately so.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It takes me back to exams ... always asking for more paper as I brain dumped everything I could about a subject that the allotted time allowed.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Reflections complete, I won't waste our time like this again.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I hope I haven't scared you away & that you'll give me the chance to be true to my word.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Thank you for your patience & understanding & a doubly double thank you to those who responded ~ you're legends to me.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Bahrain Race Circuit |</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">A<a href="https://phototrend.fr/2011/07/zoom-photographe-1-andreas-gursky/" style="color: #666666;" target="_blank">ndreas Gursky phototrend.fr</a></span></td></tr>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-21200464218617141992019-08-03T16:50:00.002+01:002019-09-25T14:40:54.486+01:00A to B, transitions & change<div align="center" class="Body" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border: none; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is a post that, in its formation, has become more pertinent to me by the word. Even as I’ve pondered the prospect of writing this piece, each thought propagated another thought & another thought ~ almost to the point of putting me off properly starting.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Suffice to say it’s clear transitions & change, the challenges they present & how to help is not the quick & easy subject I thought it would be to communicate. For me, anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">That said, having accepted an open invitation via twitter to collaborate with a small band of others to author on autism related subjects, I am gratefully committed & have persevered ~ although I do wish I’d started when the challenge was accepted & not on the suggested day of submission (also now past)! That could be an executive functioning fail right there ... & maybe a touch of demand avoidance ... but I did say I often need a deadline to get things done & that this new arrangement might be the one thing to get me back in the writing saddle & here I am, getting it done.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Anyway, having planned to start at A, I’ve already veered off track to goodness knows where & must get back on course for B (or C?) & the topic of change.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s certainly a topic that’s very relevant to this #autismrich family’s day to day life, as it is to other autistic families. And it’s an important topic to talk about because transitions & change can be very unsettling for us & we can react adversely to them. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We can become more avoidant, more resistant, quieter, less verbal, less coherent, louder, more verbal, more tearful, more angry, more easily confused, more indecisive, less easily consoled or we can simply become stuck (in mind &/or body) ... all are potential responses to feeling more unsure, more anxious, more scared, less safe as a result of change.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yet not all change is bad & some change I crave.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I secretly aspire to be a force for change (but doubt I'll ever be so). I advocate for change & support actual forces for change in education, in society, in equality, in the world & the way in which we care for our planet & each other. In fact one fellow autistic, Greta Thunberg, is proving herself to be exactly that, even selected by HRH The Duchess of Sussex as one of 15 #ForcesForChange to be featured on the cover of British Vogue September 2019.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So us autistics can do change, sometimes even huge change ... but other times we can't, not even small change.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">To understand why, & in an ongoing effort to highlight the need to look beyond adverse surface behaviours to appropriately support or address their root causes, I want to delve deeper.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Interestingly, & significantly, it was the eruption of months of pent up responses to one particular set of changes that launched this family onto a trajectory to planet autism (where we landed with one almighty thud on our backsides ... no single small steps for us & certainly no command module waiting to transport us back to familiar territory ~ also topical at the time of writing!). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This was the transition from primary to secondary school for one very unsuspecting <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">angel fish</a> (pre diagnosis when we still thought we were in <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2016/11/arriving-in-holland.html" target="_blank">Italy rather than Holland</a>) which triggered a chain reaction of events & self-styled problem solving coping strategies that, by the Easter of that first academic year, could no longer be self-managed, sustained or contained. In a bid for survival, the panic button was pushed & meltdown ensued. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And as many of us weather a different transition now, from school days to summer holidays, with the increased likelihood of adverse behaviours this brings, it’s poignant & timely to reflect on both these scenarios ~ & other transitions & changes we’ve faced, failed & succeeded at ~ & in so doing, I hope, share some useful experiences, observations & learnings. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In this very long post, & to provide some structure, & a navigation aid for anyone wishing to dip in & out, I will attempt to shine light on: </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;">1. What we mean by transitions & change</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;">2. How & why we're impacted by transitions & change</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;">3. What helps</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;">4. The bottom line</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;">5. A final word</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Photo by Marcos Pezzani on Flickr</span></td></tr>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> ___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>1. WHAT WE MEAN BY TRANSITIONS & CHANGE</b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">As already eluded to, at this time of year, for autistic children in particular & autistic parents, there are many potential transitions & changes to navigate, such as:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><i> </i></span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><i>The end of an academic year & the prospect of a new one involving change of class, teacher, TA, coat peg, classroom, desk, “table mates” & questions about understanding, acceptance & accommodations;<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">The end of being at one school & the prospect of starting a new one involving changes in daily routine, route to school, timings, school size, rules, classmates, different & more teachers, uniform, homework & concerns about understanding, acceptance & accommodations ... the list goes on;<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">The end of getting up & ready for school at a set time each day & other routines & the beginning of a seemingly never ending, comparably unstructured summer holiday.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Anyone living through such changes, autistic or not, will know these are fairly obvious & not insignificant for anyone, but they're particularly triggering for autistics & exist over & above very many other & frequently occurring but less obvious transitions & changes, all lying in wait to trip up autistic soles ~ I mean souls ;). And if not managed successfully the compounded effect can be catastrophic:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><i>Waking up to getting up & getting ready for “the day”<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Switching off, going to bed & getting to sleep<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Getting out of the house to travelling to arriving at a destination<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Moving from one room or space to another, eg a classroom to an assembly hall, playground to classroom, out of the car, from the corridor into the dinosaur section at The Natural History Museum, from an atrium to a lift, from outside to inside the O2 or other public venue ... again, the list goes on<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Moving from one task to another, especially if needing to transition from a “<a href="https://kar.kent.ac.uk/75301/1/Building%20connections%20APAC.pdf" target="_blank">state of flow</a>” or hyper focus (ref Dr Damian Milton*)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Into & out of the school day (trouble settling in & potentially “exploding” out)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Into & out of the weekend (strict structure to relative lack of structure)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Into & out of end of year assessments, eg comprehending the need to continue attending school & learning post assessments (whether assessments accessed or not)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></i><span lang="EN-US"><i>Childhood to adulthood, eg Child & Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) to adult services & all the other connotations of this particularly huge suit of transitions</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And on the subject of adulthood, </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">transitions & change don’t stop with the end of childhood. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The following are all relevant:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><i>Waking up to getting up & getting ready for “the day”<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Switching off, going to bed & getting to sleep<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Getting out of the house to travelling to arriving at a destination<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Moving from one room or space to another, eg identifying the appropriate moment to leave a meeting or gathering (I’m really bad at this & cringe with the memory of some failures)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Moving from one task to another, especially if needing to transition from a “<a href="https://kar.kent.ac.uk/75301/1/Building%20connections%20APAC.pdf" target="_blank">state of flow</a>” or hyper focus (ref Damian Milton*)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Into & out of the working day<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">From work to lunchtime or after work social events<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Changing jobs (leaving one & starting another)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">From working to not working (structure to relative lack of structure)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">From coupledom to singledom (or vice versa) <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Dependence to independence, or autonomy<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">These are all transitions from A to B involving changes to our environment &/or our state of being ... a need (or demand) to switch our body &/or brain from occupying one real or metaphorical space at point A (where it may be very settled) to being comfortable doing something else, somewhere else, </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">at point B. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But change can occur in isolation & can be planned, expected or unexpected ~ imposed upon or self-imposed ~ such as:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><i>Change of hairdresser, dentist, doctor or other professional or service provider<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Change of staff at a club (if lucky enough to attend in the first place)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">- </span></span><span lang="EN-US">Change of members at a club or group attended<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Change of friendships, classmates, seating arrangements, teachers, TAs<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Change of rules<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></i><span lang="EN-US"><i>Change of sensory input or stimuli, eg sudden loud noises, a certain type of music starting up, building works, gardening equipment, fluorescent lighting, screaming & shouting, temperature fluctuations ... & the list goes on</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I hope I’ve illustrated how endemic transitions & change ~ & our potential reaction to them ~ are to our lives. We simply can’t avoid them even if we might try. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But why might we try? Read on!</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>2. HOW & WHY WE'RE IMPACTED BY TRANSITIONS & CHANGE</b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In my introduction I mentioned observable behaviours that may indicate an adverse reaction to transitions & change, to disrupted routines. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><i>We can become more avoidant, more resistant, quieter, less verbal, less coherent, louder, more verbal, more tearful, more angry, more easily confused, more indecisive, less easily consoled or we can simply become stuck (in mind &/or body) ... all are potential responses to feeling more unsure, more anxious, more scared, less safe as a result of change.</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;">Our typically higher than average anxiety & arousal levels mean we’re typically more likely to perceive danger & feel unsafe during times of change; we’re typically more likely to have our hardwired survival instinct triggered, meaning a sudden, potentially uncontrollable need to <a href="https://pathologicaldemandavoidanceaprofileofautism.com/2019/06/25/pda-neuroception-the-five-fs/?fbclid=IwAR2Q3aEwvksNr1-UlFsYS6HZJxvzs95vluyyIQjtvBIeH7PECxnpr9Fx7ZI" target="_blank">flee, freeze, fight, fright or fawn</a> (click through to read an insightful article by Changing The Narrative About Autism on Neuroception & PDA & explaining the Five Fs).</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Faced with such reactions, it’s reasonable to conclude we autistics don’t like change & need routine.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I don’t believe it’s wholly accurate, fair or safe to assume apparent resistance or adverse reactions to transitions & change are simply because we don’t like change (therefore will never like change) or because we must always have routine (therefore will never cope without routine). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think assuming these things restricts & excludes us. I know because I’m an autistic person who has sought out & enjoyed change & who can become bored with routine. But I’ve also struggled & suffered as a result of change & with a loss or change of routine. So it’s important to ask & understand why. Which is exactly what I did ~ of myself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">As my own autism knowledge increased & expanded, & with my own diagnosis in 2017, I’ve often wondered how I succeeded in working at a senior level for a company who embraced & encouraged change ... whose ethos was one of continuous improvement & so continuous change. Because I embraced that change ethos too. Even changes that were imposed on me by others (well, some, not all!). And I genuinely believe, out of change comes opportunity. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">via Pinterest</span></td></tr>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Although, for us autistics, very often, chaos can succeed change.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On reflection, I believe the changes I weathered best were those that weren’t personal (or didn't feel personal) to me, those that were clearly made in support of achieving company goals, a better result for customers & those I could manage, influence or contribute to.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was much, much less comfortable if I felt change was being forced on me for someone else’s personal gain or for subjective rather than objective & believable reasoning, if I felt personally at risk or targeted, left out or unfairly treated or if the change seemed just plain wrong. A few recognisable autistic traits emerge from this self-assessment & hint to why I & other autistics may resist & avoid change in such perceived circumstances: </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">a strong sense of right & wrong, a strong sense of fairness, difficulties interpreting others’ intentions & beliefs ~ so it’s a must to consider these traits, these differences, when imposing change on any autistic.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I’ve happily embarked upon other self-imposed changes, like radical hair cuts, house moves, a change of decor, of room layout, of job, of holidays destinations & other environments. The key here being I’ve initiated them. I’ve been in control of the what, when & how even if they’ve not always turned out as expected (causing the odd meltdown, it’s true, especially on the hair front). They were my decision ~ I was responsible, accountable if not always wholly successful. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And, even though I worked for my last company for 25 years, I changed jobs every 2, 3 or 4 years. Sometimes at my own instigation, at other times in response to business restructure or remodelling. It’s true, each change was unsettling to some degree, but I was highly motivated to succeed so was hyper focussed & persevered to do so! The most unsettling job changes were those that, in my opinion, were very much imposed on me, seemingly personal & to my detriment, without adequate justification or obvious fit with company goals. Thankfully such changes were rare but do you see the difference?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yet, in contrast, I have to admit I’ve been in situations where I’ve known change is needed, or I’ve wanted change, but have been unable to act. I’ve become stuck, panicked, frozen with the fear of something ... the fear of the unknown, the fear of others’ reactions or the fear of failure. So, sometimes, we can resist, avoid, even sabotage desired change. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Here’s an example: early on in my working career I was offered a job I accepted. It was a complete change of career from Director's Secretary to a trainee management role in hospitality (where I’d been working part time on top of my full time job). I was flattered & excited by the new challenge but I couldn’t bring myself to resign from my full time job, or share the news with others ~ imagining unsupportive or disapproving reactions & not being able to work out what was the best option for me ~ so in the end, at the 11th hour (& 55th minute) I announced I couldn’t take the new job after all & carried on “as before”. </i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">And a current example: I want to set up a dedicated space at home for "playing with clay". I’ve identified the equipment I want & I’m in a position to purchase. The garage has power (of the electrical kind) ~</i><i style="font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> but it’s full of items waiting to be sold. Having given up work to better support our #autismrich family, our household income halved. Selling years of hoarded, good quality but no longer needed clothing, toys, games, etc, would provide a welcome financial contribution. But the task of selling the accumulated volume of "stuff" has become an obstacle. I’m intellectually & physically capable. I’ve identified various options & would happily advise others on what to do & how ... but I can’t "transition" myself to physically tackle the task, despite the financial, emotional & personal rewards of doing so. I’m stuck & have been for many months. </i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Neither situation is the end of the world but sometimes there are more serious consequences to “becoming stuck” & being unable to act or speak up.</span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>On reflection, I believe the changes I weathered best were those that weren't personal to me, those that were clearly made in support of achieving company goals, a better result for customers & those I could manage, influence or contribute to</i></span></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal;">.</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, I guess it IS true: we DON'T like change ... </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">IF the task required to change is overwhelming, </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">IF the change is badly managed, IF the consequences of change are unexpected or not as expected, IF we’re left feeling out of control, threatened & unsafe, IF the change seems unfair, unjust or wrong, IF the change is for change’s sake with no clear, objective purpose or IF the change & reasons for it are not adequately or convincingly explained. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Add to that <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>our communication differences</i></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">which mean these IFs are even more likely to be the perceived outcomes of change for us (vs those with neurotypical brains who might better interpret others’ intentions when not explicitly expressed). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>the impact of our busy, unfiltering brains</i></span></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal;">which means it can take longer to transition from A to B, to make a change. Some </span></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">say autistics are challenged by slow processing.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’m not so sure.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don’t believe my brain is slow.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think it’s pretty fast but it can take me longer to get from A to B because, first, I have to get to A from wherever I am at the time (more difficult if in "<a href="https://kar.kent.ac.uk/75301/1/Building%20connections%20APAC.pdf" target="_blank">flow state</a>" or hyper focus &/or doing something I enjoy), then I have to navigate my way from A to B (again, more difficult if B is something I think I'll enjoy less) while also avoiding & overcoming a series of distractions & digressions en route to B & thinking about M to N, Z to Y & 1 to 2.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Even if B is something equally or more enjoyable than A, transitioning from A to B can still be difficult if we’re preoccupied with A & if there are uncomfortable changes to sensory inputs to contend with.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;"><i>"How can I begin anything new </i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;"><i>with all of yesterday in me?"</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;"><i>Leonard Cohen</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Add to that </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>our tendency to verbalise thinking out loud</i></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">which means we might verbalise initial thoughts, before we get to B & others might mistakenly assume we’ve concluded our thinking so give us the B, or chivvy us along to B, when really we just need more time to finish navigating our own thought paths. We will usually get there & we may well get somewhere beyond B. </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So give us time. </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But we may need help with acting on the outcome of those thoughts!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Add to that </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>how tiring our normal thinking style is</i></span></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">which means when something different or unexpected happens, or is anticipated, it's even more tiring.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">Add to that</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>at times of change, like the end of term or before a holiday, we are already even more tired than usual</i></span></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US">which means just the thought of expending the effort needed to cope with a transition or change can be triggering.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Add to that<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>our higher than average anxiety levels</i></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">which mean we’re more likely to have a survival response triggered, to protect ourselves from the perceived risks of change (so <a href="https://pathologicaldemandavoidanceaprofileofautism.com/2019/06/25/pda-neuroception-the-five-fs/?fbclid=IwAR2Q3aEwvksNr1-UlFsYS6HZJxvzs95vluyyIQjtvBIeH7PECxnpr9Fx7ZI" target="_blank">flight, fright, freeze, fight or fawn</a>).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Add to that<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>times of transitions & change often highlight our differences & difficulties</i></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">which means we may become more self-conscious, less confident, less willing to try or participate, lowering our self-esteem still further. Whether that’s because we didn’t achieve to our ability in assessments, didn’t achieve ideal attendance, didn’t win an award, didn’t have our exceptional but unnoticeable efforts rewarded, didn’t have as many ~ or any ~ friends to enjoy the end of year party with, can't enjoy end of term events for sensory reasons, didn’t perform in front of others at sports’ day despite looking forward to it, didn’t sit on a stage in front of a church full of people for our leavers’ service even though the day is just as meaningful (& potentially more emotional) for us, didn’t settle into a new job (or more accurately into those work based social relationships) as quickly as others ... didn’t, didn’t, didn’t ... all forcing us to feel different & some how less. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In summary, at times of change, we can feel exposed, vulnerable, different for all the wrong reasons & people’s behaviour towards us changes, varies, becomes uncomfortable for us; so we’re not only dealing with a change in our environment or state of being, we’re dealing with reminders about our perceived inadequacies or differences & changes in others’ responses to us.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i style="font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">In summary, at times of change ... we're not only dealing with a change in our environment or state of being, we're </i><i>dealing</i><i style="font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> with reminders about our perceived inadequacies or </i><i>differences</i><i style="font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> & changes in others' responses to us.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">In contrast, when we’re in a routine, we know where we are, we get by, unnoticed, or noticed less, we stand out less, or are noticed more on our own terms. </span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">B</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">ut with the right approach, with genuine understanding & support, such times of transition & change can be successful, differences can become strengths, self-doubt can become confidence, like being one of the top 20 achievers in your year group in the end of year assessments (well done child of mine ... the result of genuine collaboration between home, school & child &, in this case, the benefit of accommodations made possible with an EHCP & a dedicated & understanding teaching team).</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">No wonder, </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">all things considered, </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">our reaction to change might be more marked, more extreme, than others might expect in a given situation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">No wonder, </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">all things considered, </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">we may resist change, even changes that might be good for us or necessary, sometimes staying in unhealthy situations longer than is best for us. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">No wonder, </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">all things considered, </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">we may become stuck in routines because it feels safe or because we simply can’t get to A or beyond to work out how to transition out of that routine.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And with transitions & change come actual endings & actual beginnings which, in themselves, are significant changes that can be difficult for autistics to navigate.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Another lived experience: When I left full time employment I faced unexpected & unsettling reactions & emotions to leaving a company & colleagues I’d worked with for 25 years; I struggled to manage my days without the structures, systems & routines of work; I didn’t recognise myself in the way I interacted with others ~ I felt I could no longer even speak coherently without the discipline, structure & professional language I’d previously adopted daily; despite having a clear purpose for leaving work & focussing on family, I felt chaotic & often out of control because the path to our new B was under constant barrage, littered with obstacles & furnished with rugs constantly pulled from under. I knew I should be capable, I knew what I should be doing but I wasn’t always able & I didn’t know myself.</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now, on the other side of an autism diagnosis, I understand why & I know what might have helped & how I & others might have done things differently. But I am still not immune to the impact of change or my autistic traits. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Which brings me to the last section.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>3. WHAT HELPS</b> </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’ve talked at length about the pitfalls of badly managed transitions & change & already hinted at ways to help. Here’s a more comprehensive ~ but by no means exhaustive or exclusive ~ list (or buffet) of ideas that have worked for us:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>Verbalise / Visualise / Check Understanding / Repeat Plans (even if there are none) </b></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don’t assume </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">we intuitively know what others know, or feel what others feel, like knowing what day of the week it is!</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“Mum, what have you done with Sunday?” </span></i><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The question asked indignantly of me one morning at the unexpected realisation it was Monday & a school day.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Monday morning surprises aside, I used to find weekends & holidays more difficult when we weren’t doing anything in particular & if I hadn’t made this clear; basically when there was no obvious structure to the time. So now we visualise & verbalise our weeks, weekends & holiday plans in pursuit of mutual clarity, of a shared understanding & acceptance of plans. We provide structure even when we’re doing nothing of note:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><i>We mark off each day on a wall calendar (or, more accurately, a family planner)<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Weekly or holiday schedules are also drawn up in plain site detailing appointments, days out, down days, back to school days, homework, clubs, sometimes key chores ~ ours if it means we’re unavailable, theirs if a treat depends on it! <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-style: italic; position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><i>Again, we mark off days so we know where we are, what’s coming next & we verbalise, so “it’s Saturday, we’ve been swimming, tomorrow is Sunday, there’s this homework left to do which is due on Tuesday” ... all to manage expectations & avoid surprises, “counting down” to key events, Mondays & back to school days. I think this is where talking out loud to ourselves can be a benefit ... I do it automatically so I’m often inadvertently verbalising most things! (And I would normally delay swimming until after the homework is complete but sometimes needs must!).<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">A visible plan also serves as an effective reminder of what we’ve done ~ this “reviewing” seems to make them feel happier about the time they’ve had & so happier about returning to school.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">To do lists (for me). I don’t function well without them. I have lists for all sorts in various formats, online & offline!<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Also visualised for everyone (most weeks) is our evening meal menu, shopping list, places to go ... which seem to act as a simple, non verbal reassurance that things are in hand, noted, not forgotten.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">We’re still flexible ~ even the best plans have to change ~ but changes & consequences & new commitments are communicated as quickly & clearly as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><b>Routines / Few Words / Simple Prompts / Visualisation / Motivation & Patience all help with Transitions</b></i></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><i>“I’m not going to school today. </i></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><i>What’s the point?”</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Assuming it’s a day when school remains possible (because some days it’s just not, especially for a PDAer) then this is how we approach the daily transition of getting up & getting ready:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><i>Gentle, patient (persistent) awakenings, slowly, quietly rousing from sleep (no bright & breezy singing, no shaking, no throwing back of curtains or covers ~ such tactics are not conducive to compliance in our house)<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">A family pet can earn their keep at this time too!<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Alarm clocks give them control (although I’d check the alarm itself is sensory friendly)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Breakfast options are visualised so they can just point; they're unlikely to be ready to process multiple questions/options about breakfast or even be that verbal yet so, to maintain all our moods & for speed, a quick copy & paste from a supermarket website produced an A4 prompt sheet visualising the cereals, toast, spreads available in our house & it’s been one of my best ideas (quickly followed by the acquisition of a laminator)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Meds laid out ready, eg for asthma, eczema, anxiety<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Clothes ready in order (each of mine dresses in a different order ... I don’t think there’s any harm in facilitating such routines if it means one less brain process to navigate at this time)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Reminders, or signposts to the next task, are often single words like “socks” or “teeth” or even just a touch or gesture (I know some visualise the full getting ready process)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">School bags & lunches ready the night before<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">Timetables to hand in case a reminder of what’s coming that day is needed ... a favoured lesson or a music lesson may be just the motivation needed to getting ready<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></i><span lang="EN-US"><i>Patience & kindness is always quicker & more productive than loud voices & threats (I’ve tried it all & this is my proven, evidenced conclusion!)</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I consider my own preference for several snoozes, coffee & an hour to come round before comfortably connecting with anyone else (children & pets aside ... if absolutely necessary) I think they do pretty well to be fully functioning & ready for school in the time that they are. I know some people have looked at me as if to imply I’m molly coddling but despite the approach, they’re all articulate, well mannered & able to dress & feed themselves (if & when they’re not that’s when you know they don’t feel safe). So, on school days, when anxieties can be high, those seemingly simple transitions can be very difficult & anything that helps keep anxieties at bay is fine by me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>“No”</i></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">For other transitions, like leaving a playground or having a shower, then tried & tested tactics include:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><i>The infamous five minute warning<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">“When I’ve counted to 30 ...”<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US">“At the end of that video ...” or “At the end of that episode ...” (easy if they’re into Peppa Pig or Minecraft videos) otherwise ...<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="position: relative; top: -2pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span></i><span lang="EN-US"><i>Egg timers (those large colourful timers often used at play farms to time sessions on activities) useful for activities without a naturally short duration, like console games or playing in the garden.</i><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><i>We have 1, 10 & 30 minute timers.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s the warning that’s most useful & the calm, “no nagging” time after allowing them to register & prepare for the change in activity, for the mental & physical transition. I have very rarely experienced descent after using one of these methods & often wondered how I got away with it so easily, especially the counting down tactic. If a problem did remain then this is usually a sign that a much bigger issue needs addressing.</span></span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">So in times of change, especially permanent change, identify & set new routines.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Routines anchor us & should be set to enable achievement (not to avoid change, not for the sole purpose of benefiting others, not to prevent us achieving).</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think if I'd planned & set a few routines when I left full time employment, it would have helped me manage that transition better. I had visualised & verbalised certain routines but I didn't actually set them down in stone or stick to them necessarily. I realise now how easy it is to become overwhelmed with the day to day, become lost in certain tasks, in have your days absorbed by other people's priorities. Routines are a necessary way of organising ourselves, keeping on top of things, remaining in control, achieving for ourselves as well as others.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Image via Pinterest (origin unknown)</span></td></tr>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><b>Preempt / Prepare / Plan / Anticipate / Adjust / Adapt & Involve in finding Solutions for Change </b></i></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Turn "poo days" into "wow days", for everyone.</span></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So read the school planner entry </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">for an upcoming curriculum enrichment day!</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666;">On potential poo days a 121 on what to expect & agreed flexibility on participation can do wonders in alleviating anxiety. Identifying & addressing specific concerns, knowing they’ve got options on the day if things get too much, can move someone from fleeing, or avoiding, or worse, to feeling safe about having a go. And if “normal” participation is impossible, then consider other roles that enable inclusion rather than settling for exclusion: like a runner or score keeper on sports day; a director, prop designer or music technician for a class production (grand titles for simple tasks like prop scavenging or CD player operator, maybe, but they add to a sense of self-worth that can otherwise be irreparably damaged if the alternative is exclusion); allowing them to come dressed as Mr Tom’s dog on Evacuee Day or a parrot on Pirate Day. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;">“Be stubborn about your goals </span></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;">& flexible about your methods”</span></i></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But equally, consider alternative arrangements for the things you don’t need to be stubborn about.</span></span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">For example, some assemblies may be better missed, to provide some down time or recovery time to maintain or regain what Occupational Therapists call a “calm alert” state (the desired state for learning) as opposed to a distressed, agitated or tired state brought about by an over stimulating assembly hall or simply having done too much.</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Similarly, does an autistic child have to be out in the playground (where they often feel isolated & vulnerable) if what they need is some time to quietly recover from a chaotic music lesson before a PE or maths lesson?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><b>Replace Fear with Safety</b></i></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">That’s what many of the earlier suggestions do ~ remove the fear, alleviate anxiety, create a sense of safety ~ the most basic of human needs.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Which, again, is why it’s important to understand the intention behind a behaviour rather than judge the behaviour.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Avoidance may simply be the fear of getting things wrong, a manifestation of perfectionism.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Of course, it might be many other things & might be much more complicated.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But it is usually a fear of something & if we don’t find out what we may never address appropriately.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>“How many things would you attempt </i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>if you knew you couldn't fail?”</i></span></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>Robert Frost</i></span></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> ___________________________________________________</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Our communication & theory of mind differences mean we can’t always interpret, predict, foresee others’ intentions or beliefs, about us or about situations.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">If we feel threatened, targeted, unsafe, it will destabilise us & we may resist or avoid as an act of self-preservation.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Keep us safe, preempt, avoid, mitigate those feelings.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;"> For children especially, </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">identify their safe place & safe people (although we couldn't use these terms for one</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span><a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;" target="_blank">angel fish</a><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">because it made them feel too different, instead school positioned as something available to all, if needed, & of course for most they weren't).</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We need to know we're understood & genuinely cared for.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We need trusted advocates.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">The start of a new school year is particularly fear inducing & the usual moving up day(s) in the summer term may not be enough to alleviate. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Did they met their new teacher?</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Have they met their new teaching assistant?</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Do they know where their peg will be?</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Where they’ll be sitting & with who?</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Can they have sight of their timetable? </i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- What accommodations will be in place for them?</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Will they be allowed to self-regulate in their usual ways? </i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Where can they go if it all gets too much? </i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- What are their options during break times? </i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Will their new teacher understand them?<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">- Will their classmates </i><i>understand</i><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> them?</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;"><i>- Will the older kids be kind?</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If we're going somewhere new we will research places online. Although the websites never seem appealing enough for mine to look at for long & can often put them off places but I need to know enough to </span></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">confidently communicate details in advance & </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">appear to know what I’m doing on the day! Any uncertainty on my part can quickly sew seeds of doubt & insecurity in them so I may:</span><i style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; text-align: left;"> </i><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">- Locate & eyeball on </i><i>Google maps & street view</i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></i></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">- Check travel or parking arrangements</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Check if there are any helpful access arrangements</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Pre book</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Work out timings (when might it be quieter)</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Consider quiet zones/safe zones for time out</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Consider when/where we will break for refreshments</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Be ready & willing to abandon at any given moment</i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But then there are times when mine can be blindly optimistic about change & for some events may want to retain the element of surprise ... to enjoy the anticipation & excitement of something new with their peers, to not stand out by being treated differently. It’s still worth being prepared, collaborating with school, say, to consider what might trip them up & have a plan to “save” the situation if needed. Very often, if it’s something they want to do, those plans won’t be needed but it’s reassuring to know they exist.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because sometimes they are needed. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">A </i><i>lived experience: </i><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">We did have an occasion where one angel fish found they were quite literally frozen with fear on one side of a street unable to contemplate passing through a group of young people to enter a venue to meet a then friend who was already inside (small venue, small group of people). Overcoming required the help of staff to offer an alternative way in, via a side gate, with detailed descriptions, step by step to move from point A to point B via one path to another, to a side gate, to a corner wall, to a side door, to an inner lobby & eventually into the venue proper. Once in, all was fine.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>___________________________________________________ </i></span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>Motivate & Depersonalise</b></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> ___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Explain the WHYs.</span></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Give clear, objective reasons for change.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Answer the “what’s in it for me?” question.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So there’s a clear, practical purpose that may benefit us but it’s not because of us, to change us, to fix us.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">If necessary, bring to life by drawing an analogy that links to a special interest to make the reason for change relatable.</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because without the why, without a meaningful motivation, our typical default is to take change personally & negatively.</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;">“One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up, instead of what they have to gain.” </span></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;">Rick Godwin</span></i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><b>Be Kind to Yourselves</b></i></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Towards the end of term, we bring bedtimes forward a tad to keep tiredness at bay & we plan a treat or two to look forward to, to motivate us & keep us going.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When mine were younger, sometimes just giving them a day off to recover was enough to get them back on track.<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span>We treated it as a school day & linked activities to school topics for that day.<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span>Nothing too onerous but they were always so willing & so grateful for the time & they were ready & happy to try again the next day (when in the right educational setting!). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's not something I've felt the need to do often, in fact I've done it only a handful of times, but we've benefitted each time. Although, it's worth mentioning here, with PDA this sort of time out can be a much more frequent need, or consequence of a lack of suitable settings.</span></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>Allow More Time</b></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">We are not slow, we are fast but we are processing multiple thoughts & stimuli so transitions & change may take us longer. Where possible, allow for that. And keeping things calm saves time in the long run.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> ___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>Ask how you might help ... or just help</b></i></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>“I need solitude to empty my mind of people, then I need people to empty my mind of me” </i></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Vazaki Nada</i></span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We may not know how you can help if you ask but knowing you’re there to help, that you get it, that you care, helps. If we say we don’t know, don’t keep asking though ~ we’ll think you’re not listening, that you don’t get us, that you can’t help! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don’t assume I’m a workaholic, or disorganised or anti-social just because I’m always working late or never taking a lunch break.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We can get stuck & may need help to get unstuck, especially if a current situation is harmful or unhealthy.</span></span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Help us move on when it’s in our best interests.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We have tremendous perseverance & may keep trying because we think we should even when we shouldn’t!</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">________________________</span></o:p></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>When Words don't Work</b></i></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Often, when words don’t work, I grab a notebook. I have one dedicated to conversations with my <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">angel fish</a>. We’ve had written conversations, comics strip conversations, multiple choice conversations, drawn conversations ... whatever works to overcome the block, or to break through the mental clutter preventing a verbal exchange.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’ve used it to get to the bottom of issues at school.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">To explain how secondary schools might differ & the benefit of an EHCP.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">To obtain a choice from the fish & chip shop.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span></o:p></span><i style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Remind us of our Strengths</b></span></i></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Recognise our talents, our skills, our strengths & remind us of them often as we usually think the worst of ourselves & find it difficult to remember the good. And we do possess the skills for change given the right circumstances.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;"><b>4. THE BOTTOM LINE</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;">Really, it's about how we're made to feel. </span></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">If we feel understood, supported, trusted, involved, valued, empowered & safe we can succeed, even excel, at change. Just like anyone else. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;">So approaches to facilitate transitions & change should be aimed at enabling & empowering us ~ at giving us equal opportunity ~ not at fixing us or making us less of a problem for others.</span></span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">And having experienced the pitfalls, & problem solved our way out, of so many transitions & changes we might even become quite skilled at managing change for others (if still not for ourselves) ~ there's one career option right there! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><b>5. A FINAL WORD ... </b></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> ... on actual holidays, </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">seeing as that's where this post started!</span></span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">This year we’re returning to somewhere we’ve been before. The same holiday house in the same location (obviously!). We know how long it will take to get there, who’ll sleep where, we know where the shop is, how long it takes to get around & places to go, we know it’s quiet & very beautiful & we can only see one set of neighbours (& not all the time). Last time we didn’t manage to get out of the car much so we didn’t really see the sights but what we did see was still incredible & awe inspiring. Last time we went for a week. This time we’re going for two. This will give us time to settle into the space & our surroundings & recover from the journey, we can give ourselves time between outings, not rush around trying to cram too much in, counting down the days before they’ve even begun, expecting a 2 week experience in 1 week & barely achieving more than we would in a long weekend. </span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In a long weekend, a short break, you’re limited & plan accordingly, arrive, settle, day trip here, explore there, maybe a visit somewhere else before heading home. Expectations set in advance, communicated, visualised without even thinking about it ... because time is that tight. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Lessons learned. Treat 1 week like a long weekend & select accordingly! If you want to go further, do more ... allow more time, plan, select as much from the buffet as is reasonable for a fulfilling, restorative, holiday of happy memories of being together ... because that’s what we all want at the end of the day, time together, happy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This holiday we have time to be flexible, to stay safe. We will have more wow days than poo days & if we can’t face going out we have a view ~ poo with a view even ~ we have space & we have jigsaws & books, we have WiFi & we have each other.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">And we have space not to have each other if we so choose!</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We will still try new destinations. I always like to discover new places. But we will continue to try to minimise the risks of the unknown by selecting as carefully as possible & weathering the storms that come.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, from me to you, happy holidays, whether at home or home from home.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">As I was tidying up this post ready for publication I was distracted by tidying of another kind & came across a couple of relevant publications that might also be helpful.</span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm sure most autism related resources cover the subject of transitions & change at some point but here are just two from my own "personal library" that might be useful to parents & teachers of autistic children at this time of year especially:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;"><a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/100-ideas-for-primary-teachers-transition-to-secondary-school-9781472910707/" target="_blank">100 Ideas for Primary Teachers : Transition to Secondary School by Molly Potter</a></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7325640390366932041" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); color: #666666;"><a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/search?q=100+ideas+for+supporting+pupils+on+the+autistic+spectrum&Gid=1" target="_blank">100 Ideas for Supporting Pupils on the Autistic Spectrum by Francine Brower</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Both quick reads & structured for </span>easy dipping! The first may not be autism specific but still contains lots of useful, relevant, adaptable advice.</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #666666; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><i>*<span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> Ref "flow state" as termed & described by Dr Damian E M Milton (author, consultant, lecturer in Intellectual & Developmental Disability at the Tizard Centre, University of Kent) in his <a href="https://kar.kent.ac.uk/75301/1/Building%20connections%20APAC.pdf" target="_blank">presentation</a> to the Asia Pacific Autism Conference (pre-conference workshop) June 2019</span></i></span></span><br />
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-26000126647495211542019-04-12T18:10:00.001+01:002019-09-20T18:25:15.638+01:00Analysing apparent inactivity<div class="Body" style="border: none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">given it’s been a while since I’ve been anywhere near active in this particular space.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But, if I were to choose a time to become active again, April is an ideal time, being World Autism Awareness Month or ~ as most autistics would prefer it now to be called ~ World Autism Acceptance Month.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">First I must thank a caring soul for their kind & gentle enquiry into my wellbeing recently. Their short, sweet, simple message has prompted me to contemplate my period of apparent inactivity. Admittedly, it took me a few days to respond to the enquiry, to consider how best to articulate a response. But in so doing, I realised I’d explained quite well ~ & unusually succinctly ~ this & other periods of quietness ... of low activity ... of apparent inactivity.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’ve been paralysed by unhelpful thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Although it’s not like I’ve been doing nothing. Not at all. In fact, I’ve rightly concentrated on more critical concerns & to good effect, even if I do say so myself. Maybe that’s all I’ve been capable of. And that’s OK. But because of what I <i>have </i>been doing, & because of what <i>has </i>been going on, I recognise I’ve not been interacting or connecting in my usual ways, if at all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’ve not been myself. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’m out of sorts.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“We all have days like that” don’t we?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well, yes ... & no.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">You see, something else I’ve been pondering is why, sometimes, autistic difficulties can be dismissed as every day occurrences, every day issues, not anything out of the ordinary.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I’ve come to the conclusion that we “high functioning” autistics have maybe grown accustomed to using neurotypical language to describe our non-neurotypical selves. Inadvertently we play down our difficulties by mimicking ~ or adopting ~ common phrases, making ourselves almost too relatable & so dismissible. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Additionally, in the same way we feel uncomfortable about blowing our own trumpet due to our low self-esteem & low confidence (sorry, I mean our consistently extraordinarily low self-esteem & consistently extraordinarily low confidence), we also don’t like to publicise or promote what might appear to be self-pity. But we do expect you to know what’s going on inside our heads; for example, we expect you to know the size of a problem just because we’ve mentioned it, even if we haven’t used appropriately impactful words to describe it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> And our “I’ve been a bit out of sorts” doesn’t necessarily cut it when it means we’ve arrived late (again), or not participated, or not joined in, or not shared some news, etc, etc.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Actually, what we may mean (as has been the case for me just lately) is that we’ve been much more than a bit out of sorts, we’ve been paralysed into apparent inactivity by too many recurring, unhelpful thoughts. Maybe we started off being “out of sorts” & this has opened the door to unhelpful thoughts & unhelpful interpretations of seemingly every day, normal interactions ... to some paranoia even. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">To add to the problem, we don’t just ponder; we dwell, ruminate, avoid, return & ruminate some more to the extent such thoughts can stop us functioning “normally” or (more accurately) as we usually would, if at all.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It happens often. Sometimes with serious consequences for ourselves, or others.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes I’m not “a bit out of sorts” at all but the sudden, emotional impact of a situation has been so great it’s led me to avoid, paralysing my ability to respond appropriately. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It can be proper rabbit in the headlights stuff.</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Even in professional situations ~ or, again more accurately, non professional events in professional situations. Maybe it's because something happens that is "off brief" or "off script" for a work situation that I find myself derailed, stunned, unable to decipher how to respond & the inner panic about what's right & what's wrong causes me to freeze. The work continues (usually), but the necessary response to the "out of context" situation is frozen, unforthcoming & replaced with avoidance. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s a hard-wired survival instinct. In fact, it’s very common for autistics to operate in survival mode to such an extent that it becomes normalised for us ... our overly active amygdala is frequently & unusually triggered. And the impact can be such that I’ve avoided those “out of workplace” situations until it’s become too late to deal with. This apparent inactivity must have looked like I just didn’t give a damn but this is so far from the truth.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’m just so sorry I didn’t understand myself well enough at the time to be able to implement a strategy to overcome my paralysis, my extreme anxiety avoidance, my apparent inactivity.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, I really am very sorry.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes it can be something we really want to do that we find we're somehow unable to attend to, that we avoid, that we don’t action. It’s still a survival instinct, I think. We fear failing (although I know we learn from failure & I would always encourage others to try anyway). But we sometimes don’t know how to start ourselves, the whole is too large to grapple with so we move away, distract ourselves, procrastinate, kid ourselves we’re actively preparing to start. In reality, we become paralysed into apparent inactivity with regard to that particular task. Or we may not know how to say no or how to deprioritise other tasks imposed upon us.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, thanks again for checking in. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">That may well be enough, on occasion, to pull me out of my paralysis.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But sometimes we might need more. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes we may need unrelenting encouragement, unrelenting validation, unrelenting help, extreme <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2016/09/an-armour-on-day_28.html" target="_blank">patience & time</a>. Other times we may simply need clear, precise permission. I know, high maintenance, right? But I have learnt to do this for myself over the years ... it’s just, sometimes, I lapse, proverbial balls drop & I withdraw into apparent inactivity.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And in future I will attempt to re-read & re-edit my monologuing without a neurotypical language filter. I will try & express myself more accurately, more non-neurotypically, although some assumptions will need to be made on my part. I imagine it will be rather like someone who’s colour blind refraining from calling blue blue when really they’re seeing red & who only knows it’s blue because someone else told them it’s blue & only calls it blue to adopt the common language & to avoid confusing others. But it’s not their truth ... red is their truth. In the same way, the neurotypical language I use is not always representative of my truth.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But back to now & my current period of apparent inactivity. And, actually, I’m still feeling nervous about resuming usual activities. I can’t put my finger on why ... well, I can, I think, but I can’t bring myself to articulate fully ... those unhelpful thoughts & interpretations have not been fully quelled & I find myself almost without breath at times. Like I’m too scared to breathe lest the whole damn charade comes crashing down, shattering into pieces too small to salvage.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So I will just breathe slowly, shallowly ... bide my time & concentrate on being ... concentrate on my <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">angel fish</a> ... & I will walk, when I can.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I do like walking.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I do like swimming.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I love my angel fish.</span></span><br />
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-15474649939220540822018-12-07T11:14:00.002+00:002019-09-20T18:31:40.324+01:00 A letter to Anne Heggerty ...<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Anne Heggerty </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">(aka The Governess on ITV's The Chase) </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">is currently participating in I'm a Celebrity 2018 on ITV. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">As a result of the overwhelmingly positive response to Anne, both in & out of the camp, I muted the idea of </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://twitter.com/saralawler/status/1065649155408838657" target="_blank">"A Party for Anne"</a> </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">in a </span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://twitter.com/saralawler/status/1065649155408838657" target="_blank">tweet</a> </span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">to both ITV & the NAS, suggesting an invitee list of later diagnosed autistic women to thank Anne for the positive impact she's having & to show the world who we are.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">I know that a party probably sounds like a contradiction in terms for an autistic community & it may be why not a single sole has responded to my suggestion (working hard to overcome my autistic tendency to take this personally) but I still think it's a god idea in principle.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Especially as, for the very same reason, </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Messages for Anne"</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">to be submitted for inclusion in</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<a href="https://twitter.com/Autism/status/1068603326764331008" target="_blank">A Book for Anne</a>".</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, in response to that request, this is</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"A Letter to Anne".</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">~0~</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(153, 153, 153);">Dear Anne</span></i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">I am writing to you as a fellow autistic woman diagnosed later in life. Aware of your diagnosis from an <a href="https://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/membership/magazine/current-issue/anne-hegerty.aspx" target="_blank">article about you</a> in the NAS members' magazine, </i><i style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">I was really delighted to see that you'd be taking part in I'm a Celebrity &, for the first time in a while, I made an appointment to view from day one. I have watched religiously every day since (although executive functioning challenges mean I'm usually watching an hour later than most people & having to rewind often!).</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I empathise with your struggle in the early couple of days. Your description of it during your exit interview put me in mind of arriving at our holiday home this year & the children's (& my) initial reaction to it ... although, obviously the two don't literally compare! We are what I'd term an "autism rich" family ~ there are a few of us & I do what I can to keep us focussed on the positives - but I am painfully aware of the challenges we face trying to get by in situations where we are not always understood or accepted.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Often all we need is a little kindness ... a little <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2016/09/an-armour-on-day_28.html" target="_blank">patience & time</a> (the two most powerful warriors, according to Leo Tolstoy) ... & one of the things that I've been so reassured & relieved to witness is the kindness you've experienced & so eloquently acknowledged. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>And I was very pleased to see the easy way it appeared campmates would ask about your autism. I wish more people would do that. I'd be very happy for people to ask me about how autism affects me & mine so thank you ~ & your fellow campmates ~ for showing such conversations are OK to have. They help us all understand where we stand & how to help & relate to each other & just be together more successfully. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I know you were happy to leave the jungle but I, for one, miss you being there ... & I'm gutted we didn't get to hear your letter! Many of the snippets of insight you shared ~ & had ~ resonated strongly with me & I will miss those "me too" moments.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I hope the transition to the hotel has been easier & significantly more pleasurable than the initial transition into camp.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I'm very much looking forward to the final shows, to see you again, & I hope we all see & hear a lot more of you going forward. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Many thanks Anne for taking on this challenge. Out of all the stars in the jungle, you shine the most for me!</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>An #alsoautistic wellwisher.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>~0~</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Oh for goodness sake (that wasn't what I actually said but this is a public space) ~ I've been so busy "getting by" that I've missed the deadline ... I didn't know from the original request what the deadline was & I needed time to do this right but it seems, in my case, there wasn't enough patience & time for my needs ... yet another executive functioning failure!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fudge, as my boys would say.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Publishing anyway ... I hope this Letter to Anne will reach her eventually.<i> </i></span></div>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-7452082057437650082018-11-20T09:42:00.001+00:002019-09-26T09:49:29.169+01:00Action stations! We're in meltdown ... <div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">... but would you recognise one & how would you respond?</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">A meltdown can be </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">a common occurrence for autistics </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">& the word quickly becomes an accepted part of the autistic community's language. </span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OpOU5UvazPs/W_PPa9NjYnI/AAAAAAAAAuU/nM3ZGDqq5AoupKA23vJ_ukQhEXFWhA3IQCEwYBhgL/s1600/Action%2BStations%2BBoom.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: #666666;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1297" data-original-width="801" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OpOU5UvazPs/W_PPa9NjYnI/AAAAAAAAAuU/nM3ZGDqq5AoupKA23vJ_ukQhEXFWhA3IQCEwYBhgL/s640/Action%2BStations%2BBoom.JPG" width="394" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Boom Comic Graphic via Pinterest via 4cp.posthaven.com</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Although meltdowns are not exclusive to autistics, the autistic condition & a lack of understanding or accommodation of autism combine to create circumstances that can more frequently trigger them or, even more frequently, fail to recognise & respond appropriately to them. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But first to distinguish meltdowns from temper tantrums. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">They're NOT the same but they're often confused. </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is a huge issue for autistics & there are many illustrations already in circulation </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">which do a very good job of defining & comparing the two. </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've replicated one here: </span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GDsGOJvS214/W_PPVpWGrcI/AAAAAAAAAuA/-czI_riFqdMXTLvkBByO6HxFqv21BsRSgCLcBGAs/s1600/Action%2BStations%2BTantrum%2Bvs%2BMeltdown%2B2018%2B11%2B19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: #666666;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GDsGOJvS214/W_PPVpWGrcI/AAAAAAAAAuA/-czI_riFqdMXTLvkBByO6HxFqv21BsRSgCLcBGAs/s640/Action%2BStations%2BTantrum%2Bvs%2BMeltdown%2B2018%2B11%2B19.jpg" width="425" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Tantrum or Meltdown? An Affinity With A</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But this post can't end here because this explanation alone implies meltdowns take one form only ... one that equates to unacceptable or bad behaviour (& anyone who's read my article "<a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2018/02/autism-does-not-equal-bad-behaviour.html" target="_blank">Autism <i>does not</i> equal bad behaviour</a>" will know my opinion on that). </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">No!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Meltdowns can take many forms but </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">because of the myth that "autism <i>does</i> equal bad behaviour" they </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">may not always be recognised for what they are.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why does it matter?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because how a meltdown ~ or approaching meltdown ~ is responded to by those around them can be the difference between a quick recovery or escalation into somewhere potentially very harmful; the difference between being pulled back from the edge or being pushed over the edge into the abyss. </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5t53O34sXqE/W_PPa0m8GSI/AAAAAAAAAuY/LC2VbyftJ-YG7TDQWg9spHUeAN-jA8ybACEwYBhgL/s1600/Action%2BStations%2BCrash%2B2018%2B11%2B19.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: #666666;"><img border="0" data-original-height="836" data-original-width="496" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5t53O34sXqE/W_PPa0m8GSI/AAAAAAAAAuY/LC2VbyftJ-YG7TDQWg9spHUeAN-jA8ybACEwYBhgL/s640/Action%2BStations%2BCrash%2B2018%2B11%2B19.JPG" width="378" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Crash Comic Graphic via Pinterest via robertmars.blogspot.com</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Reflecting on recent, less obvious or "atypical" meltdowns within our own #autismrich family ~ realising they could very easily have been missed or even dismissed as something less significant ~ has prompted me to capture what a meltdown might be:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, it might be screaming.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be shouting.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be harming something or someone.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But also, it might be door slamming.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be self-injurous (there are many forms).</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might involve withdrawing or hiding away.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be curling up tight.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be rocking.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be physical illness.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be running away.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be freezing, panic stricken.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be losing the ability to speak (even for the usually articulate).</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be losing the ability to speak coherently.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be crying.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be in public.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It might be in private.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Whatever & wherever it <i>might</i> be, it IS a release of emotions that have become so overwhelming ~ for whatever reason, or set of reasons ~ that it's impossible to contain them, remain in control or act "normally" any longer. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Something has had to give for those emotions to be released; for equilibrium & calm to be restored ~ eventually.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The jug is overflowing.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> The dam is bursting.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> The volcano is erupting.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> The Creepers are creeping (a Minecraft reference!).</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Or, to extend Ellen Notbohm's explanation of autism as being like </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/p/autism.html" target="_blank">a Mac in a PC world</a>", an autistic meltdown is </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">like the spinning colour wheel of death.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">All are accurate analogies.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But irrespective of how a meltdown may manifest, the feelings & cause(s) are as valid, the ability to cope & carry on as compromised & the need for help & understanding as great.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Our own meltdowns may take any of the forms above. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And some of the more "acceptable" meltdown behaviours may actually help us to prevent, or calm us after, a more "unacceptable" meltdown behaviour. So shutting down may prevent melting down ... & is certainly part of our recovery post meltdown! But whatever the form, the function they perform is the same.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, for these reasons, I'm writing this post & I'm asking: when you hear someone from our community talking about a meltdown, please know they're not talking about a temper tantrum (although, as fellow humans, we can experience those too!) & they're not necessarily talking about unacceptable or bad behaviour, or even behaviour that was visible to ~ or had any adverse impact on ~ anyone or anything else. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In fact the meltdown may have been harmful (physically &/or mentally) only to the person experiencing it & experienced by them alone, but how a meltdown is responded to is vital to better recovery.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So...</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2jLSjaXjn2I/W_PPa1ttzzI/AAAAAAAAAuQ/sdsiqzeqvighg7dP7etGcn9pbOSfUx0dgCEwYBhgL/s1600/Action%2BStations%2BHelp.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: #666666;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="172" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2jLSjaXjn2I/W_PPa1ttzzI/AAAAAAAAAuQ/sdsiqzeqvighg7dP7etGcn9pbOSfUx0dgCEwYBhgL/s640/Action%2BStations%2BHelp.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="366" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Help Comic Graphic via Pinterest via psicosaludtenerife.com</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>How can you help & how can we help ourselves</u>?</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Understand what the triggers ~ or causes ~ might be: eg sensory overload, information overload, not being listened to or heard or being ignored, being taken advantage of or treated unfairly, being embarrassed, being criticised, being teased & deliberately provoked, being rejected, excluded or isolated, loss, being dumped or cheated on (megga meltdown mayhem!), too many demands, lowered tolerance levels due to heightened anxieties, illness, tiredness or hunger; coping too long with ~ or </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">frequently suffering, or dwelling on past experiences of ~ any of the aforementioned without an opportunity to calm or de-stress or recover.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Recognise that the autistic jug starts more full than the neuro-typical jug so there's less capacity for additional input because our brains are registering & retaining more already.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Recognise the early warning signs & try to avoid escalation to meltdown, maybe by removing that person from the situation, changing the environment or distraction, or allowing space & time for a calming activity, for example.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">If meltdown is unavoidable, safety first (for everyone ~ the "meltee" & those around).</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Make space for calming &, if possible, offer or direct toward calming solutions (ideally non-verbally) but know a rational response might not be possible so </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">be patient & allow time for the meltdown to pass. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because it will.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A good time to return to the "<a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/p/autism.html" style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);" target="_blank">Mac in a PC world</a>" analogy: when that spinning colour wheel of death appears you know you have to wait ... you know the wheel will either sort itself out in it's own good time & in it's own methodical way & you know, if it doesn't, there is no other option but to shut down then restart the device (& you can't rush that either). And even though it's our first instinctive response, you know it won't help to plead with, complain or shout at your device. You know it won't help to jab every key on the keyboard & click every clickable option on your frozen screen. You know every key stroke & mouse click your device ignores now will be stored, ready to reek havoc should the spinning wheel of death pass without the need for shut down. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yet we still do it!</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don't. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It doesn't help ~ it makes things worse.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Demonstrate understanding & a desire to help, not blame. But no solutions to the perceived cause(s) ... we're not in a state to process at this time & we could interpret as criticisms & feel like we're not being listened to. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Analysis & solutions can come later, but first ...</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Post meltdown, we can feel low & shameful about losing control so we benefit from more than the average amount of reassurance, being reminded about & celebrating achievements & strengths.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Consider what could be done differently or avoided next time.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Accept that autistic meltdowns are inevitable in much of the current environment in which we live BUT accept also that the risk of meltdowns can be reduced by: learning to identify & avoid triggers, recognising the early warning signs of an impending meltdown situation & intervening to prevent escalation & developing personalised coping strategies to manage acceptably.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">At the same time, let's work together to make our shared environment more accommodating for all</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Above all, be more kind.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">For me, sometimes, I still talk too much, say too much, offer solutions (directly & indirectly) in desperate attempts to provide hope. Even though I know I shouldn't, sometimes I just can't help myself. Maybe it's a symptom of me nearing my own melting point! But all it does is make matters worse ... make the "meltee" feel undermined, not listened to, not heard, challenged, criticised, wrong. I know because they tell me! So, even though I know what I should do ... & mostly do ... I also know how tough it is to do the right thing. So I write this not only to help others but to help me too, to remind myself.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I know I help best when I'm simply there ... listening, believing, loving ... & always from the other side of a closed door (they don't want me adding to the shame) ... so I always give them safe space alone ... talking comes later ... hours later if necessary, on their terms in their time. That's the time for reassurances & solutions if solutions are needed & wanted. We move on.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">If I help appropriately in the moment, I build trust to help constructively after the moment (irrespective of what they might have said about me back in the moment). </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And remember, if you do witness a meltdown (as opposed to a tantrum)</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>"My child is not giving me a hard time. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>My child is having a hard time."</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Unknown</i> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Or, to adjust for my own perspective:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>"I'm not giving you a hard time.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>I'm having a hard time."</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Me</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">this is particularly pertinent as we approach </span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2016/12/advent-christmas-all-is-not-calm.html" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;" target="_blank">Advent & Christmas</a><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">as I realise this is the time of year when </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">my own capacity is often reached & often breached. I can reflect back on real illnesses & the need to withdraw or "shut down" leading up to Christmas, especially in the latter half of life as the demands of work & a family became greater than the demands of my single days when I only had myself to organise. It's ironic & frustrating as it's a time of year I love but, I realise now, the additional demands & changes to routines take their toll & what may have been naturally occurring recovery times are filled with additional things to do & think about, & seemingly never ending demands from others. Already the water is trickling from my own dam, the magma is moving underfoot, seeking out the cracks, & the Creepers are waking, ready to creep!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Would you ~ did you ~ recognise it?</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">In our Autistic Life we Ride Tsunamis | An Affinity With A </span></td></tr>
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<br />An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-81240380804097810962018-08-06T15:57:00.000+01:002019-09-23T18:24:22.672+01:00"All about me" & theory of mind<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">All about
me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">That’s
how I imagine my behaviour might seem to others, sometimes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s all
about me.</span></span><br />
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is ~ but it’s not.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I mean, I can see how it might appear to be.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think I can appear
egocentric but I’m not egotistic.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I do
bring things back to me but not in a boastful, self-important way ~ or that’s
not how it’s meant.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">In fact, I really
have a fairly low opinion of myself, truth be known.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I’m not here for a boost.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’m here to give my perspective on a misunderstood,
quite complex autistic trait “lacking theory of mind”.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Lacking
theory of mind means it’s really difficult for me to put myself in others’
shoes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This doesn’t mean I can’t or
don’t want to ... just that it’s really difficult.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The autistic brain doesn’t intuitively see things from another’s perspective (something that typically develops from early childhood), so doesn’t intuitively consider or interpret others’ beliefs, intentions, actions & gestures.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">As a result, the default position is to relate what others do, say or might be thinking to what we know. And that often means to ourselves, our own experiences.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Seh6na6W_N0/W2hRuZnnJ4I/AAAAAAAAAs4/WEBuLpqsCtgNMa6dJVgQJT6Yclip-TN1QCLcBGAs/s1600/Me%2Bin%2BBahrain%2Bin%2Bsomeone%2Belses%2Bshoes%2B2018%2B08%2B06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: #666666;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Seh6na6W_N0/W2hRuZnnJ4I/AAAAAAAAAs4/WEBuLpqsCtgNMa6dJVgQJT6Yclip-TN1QCLcBGAs/s400/Me%2Bin%2BBahrain%2Bin%2Bsomeone%2Belses%2Bshoes%2B2018%2B08%2B06.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Me in Bahrain in someone else's shoes (literally!)</span></td></tr>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In other words, we don’t intuitively accept or acknowledge that others think differently ... we may learn that they do but it’s difficult for us to accommodate. We have what Simon Baron-Cohen describes as mindblindness.</span></span><br />
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Impacts on us include: to expect others to be thinking the same as us & to know what we’re thinking; to miss deception in others (& so be vulnerable to it); to not easily be able to lie to others (even if it’s the right thing to do to make them feel better, apparently); </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">to misinterpret comments ~ often as criticisms & </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">a tendency to take things personally.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It
happens to me all the time but I’ve learnt to check myself ~ even if I can’t
always convince myself that my instinctive response may not be accurate.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I see
it clearly in my <a href="https://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">angel fish</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here’s a
very recent example to demonstrate how extreme & really unexpected this
mindblindness, or lacking theory of mind, can be:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>One angel fish noticed Textiles didn’t appear
on their timetable for the next academic year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Their reasoning for this is that they must have been really bad at
Textiles in the previous year not to be allowed to do it anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone else must have it on their timetable
... it’s just them who doesn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite
reassurances & evidence to the contrary & suggestions of other possible
(and let’s be honest, much more likely) scenarios, the only explanation they
truly believed was the “all about me” position ... that they’re not good enough
but everyone else is & that’s why they’re the only person in the whole year
group not doing Textiles next year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Basically, they took a school<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>timetabling decision personally.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s
taken an email from the Textiles teacher to reassure my <a href="https://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">angel fish</a> of their
ability & accept the (obvious even to me) truth that they have not been
singled out as being unworthy & that none of the year group have Textiles
timetabled next year!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What’s
sad about this trait is that it only seems to emerge in negative
situations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's no “I must be really
good at DT to have DT on my timetable next year ... I wonder if anyone else is
doing DT”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, that scenario never seems
to occur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or maybe it does but just
doesn’t generate the same reaction so is less visible (something to look out
for & think about maybe)!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sadder
still is this example demonstrates how “lacking theory of mind” ~ & a
tendency to interpret negative situations especially as being “all about me” ~
can directly fuel the “low self esteem” & “low confidence” common in
autistics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In turn, imagine (as I know
many can ~ more easily than I) how much effort is needed from carers to stave
off self-sabotaging downward spirals of thought, how much energy is expended to
just keep moving forward with the mainstream, let alone build sufficient
self-belief & confidence to soar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">A lot of
wind needs to be generated, continually, beneath autistic wings.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pG9WO-X6iow/W2hUy1e9OAI/AAAAAAAAAtE/bAHJcrEKsiE66LInaSb6uwyMDlhpPKO8gCLcBGAs/s1600/Wind%2Bbeneath%2Bautistic%2Bwings%2B2018%2B08%2B06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: #666666;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pG9WO-X6iow/W2hUy1e9OAI/AAAAAAAAAtE/bAHJcrEKsiE66LInaSb6uwyMDlhpPKO8gCLcBGAs/s400/Wind%2Bbeneath%2Bautistic%2Bwings%2B2018%2B08%2B06.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Wind beneath autistic wings, An Affinity With A</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But back to me, after all this post is all
about me: I’ve had to work really hard with a lot of self-talk & sometimes
input from others to consider all the other alternatives, the other viewpoints
in given situations ... or at least to keep them front of mind, because that
“all about me” voice is naggingly persistent & will find a way to drown out
other voices if they’re not loud, persistent or convincing enough to overcome
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I can
do this now but not always & it’s not always automatic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Examples have included:</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>You ask
me how I am, I think you really want to know & I tell you ... & I may
well “over share”.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>You say
let’s meet for coffee, I think you mean it & I try to arrange it & if it doesn’t happen I think it’s because you didn’t
really want to & I wonder why you asked.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Being
gullible ~ I won’t be specific for fear of upsetting anyone who may have been
complicit!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I see a
group of people laughing & I think they’re laughing at me & I dwell on
it.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I
interrupt you because I’ve misread the cues & thought it was my turn to
talk (plus I’m super keen to show I understand & to share my
perspective!!).<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Social
anxiety, generally.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I may
have misinterpreted or missed altogether “the signals” ~ if so, I’m so sorry
:/.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>You won’t
ever hear me say “I” instead of “we” or take credit for someone else’s work or
idea.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>And I
share ideas freely, expecting others to give credit where credit is due ~ I don’t
think to be cautious.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>You might
hear me ask if you’re joking or being serious.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I assume
you don’t want to know me, include me, involve me unless you specifically do or
say otherwise so I’m very unlikely to make the first move.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I start
talking mid thought process expecting you to know what I’m talking about.</i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Logic told me I couldn't be the worst parent ever, even when my child was the only child "not coping" ... but that's the only explanation I had so I just kept trying to be a better & better parent even though they still couldn't cope.</i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Someone
writes something that has nothing to do with me but triggers a train of thought
about a situation relating to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
write something else & I interpret it as a message to me because of the
thoughts the first piece triggered.</i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>If you're not my boss, my teacher, an acknowledged expert or I haven't asked, I may take being told what to do as a criticism.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I’m sorry
to say, (too much) alcohol was my crutch in many a social situation.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Other
faux pas/situations I’m not yet ready to commit to type ... but one day I might.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>___________________________________________________</i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Actually
it can be much easier not to make it all about me in some work situations ~ if
that’s how I’m expected to think in the role ~ for example, in marketing or
customer orientated roles (my background) where it’s part of the job
description to consider things from the customer’s perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And because that was the rule (& we
autistics like our rules ~ they provide certainty & structure) I did it
& I did it extremely well, religiously even, to the exclusion of other
viewpoints, such as personal professional gain & workplace politics (the
pros & cons of which I may expand upon in a future post!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me, the customer genuinely always did
come first ... & it was very difficult for me to accept others’ thinking if
they hadn’t evidenced the same motivation!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In this,
and other situations explicitly relating to others, I can be pragmatism
personified, or I suppose detached even (another perceived autistic trait), ie
when it’s very clearly not “all about me”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And, in these situations, I often find myself prompting others to
consider the alternative perspectives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This ability further honed by becoming ever less judgemental, as a
consequence of dealing with the adverse effect of inaccurate or unfair
judgement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In some ways, my family &
friends are my “customers”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">However,
in different circumstances again, I have been guilty of appearing to make
others’ situations “all about me”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In an
attempt to demonstrate empathy (a trait assumed lacking in autistics), I’ve
often referenced my own comparable experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s a genuine attempt to show I understand but being “unusually
observant” (yet another trait), I see the suppressed eye rolls & lip bites
so I’m always quick to articulate “but it’s not all about me” & verbally
pass the discussion baton back to the person I’m attempting to empathise with,
albeit inappropriately (according to my basic counselling education,
“comparing” is a method of empathising best avoided so you won’t catch me doing
this so often any more!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my autistic
defence, & in my head, relating others’ situations to my own served to
process & confirm my understanding, to show I’m listening & to prepare
to help ... but I acknowledge this is best achieved through other means!!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It seems
to me it’s this lack of theory of mind, & the behaviours or responses
generated, which may lead autistics to be misinterpreted by some as being
selfish, cold, uncaring, lacking empathy, self-centred, unsociable or socially inappropriate. But this isn't necessarily the case (or intended). It’s just we instinctively relate
to ourselves, we take things personally, as I’ve explained. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So when
people say things like “don’t take things personally” or “it isn’t personal”,
to autistics actually, it often is (or feels like it is).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, to quote Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan)
in You’ve Got Mail (because it always resonates with me):<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;">“What is
that ‘It’s not personal’? </span></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">.... It’s personal to me.”</span></i><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So please
don’t criticise me for this (if you were ~ maybe you weren’t!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really can’t help it & I have to work
pretty hard to adjust my thinking & to accommodate others’ thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I hope my “all about me” reactions are
seen as a genuine response on my part, rather than self-serving, even if they make me prone to gullibility, over sensitivity, paranoia even.</span></span><br />
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On the plus side, there is no side to me, I don't play mind games & I won't bitch about you (although I might complain ~ at length ~ if I believe I've been unfairly or mis treated) & I will always do my best for my family, my friends, my teams (when working) & people I think I can help.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">_____________________________________________________________________________</span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> T</span>o help me & other autistics:</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Involve me in decisions that affect me.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Be open
& honest & clear with me.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Be
straight with me.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Be
patient.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Say what
you mean & mean what you say.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Understand,
if I’m not looking you in the eye it’s probably because I’m thinking &
processing.</i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Don't tell me what to do directly (unless you're one of the aforementioned) but depersonalise, so you may talk about what you or someone else does &, if it's relevant, I'll take from that.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Know it
IS personal to me (until or unless I can rationalise otherwise).<o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Know my
opinion of myself is not high enough to really be thinking it’s “all about me”.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Lots of positive feedback please!!</i></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">___________________________________________________</span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Really,
we should just all be kind ~ what benefits us, benefits everyone.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finally,
a care point: I have focussed on only a part of the theory of mind concept
& I am no expert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Theory of mind
also links to literal thinking & interpretation & obviously contributes
to, & impacts on, the social difficulties of autism & I’ve only really
eluded to these.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are a number of
elements of theory of mind that transpire at different stages of typical child
development that are delayed or lacking in autistics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Differences in theory of mind is a key factor
in autism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It can also be lacking in individuals for other reasons but how that manifests & how it may be supported may be different. </span>For anyone wanting to read
more complete texts, here are some links to articles from trusted sources,
found on a quick internet search (shortest first!):<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://theautismblog.seattlechildrens.org/autism-theory-mind/" target="_blank">Autism & Theory of Mind via Seattle Children's Hospital Autism Blog</a></span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Hyperlink0"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-21/edition-2/theories-autistic-mind" target="_blank">Theories of the Autistic Mind via The British Psychological Society's The Psychologist</a> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Hyperlink0"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=144&Ite.." target="_blank">Theory of Mind by Tony Attwood via his website</a></span></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Hyperlink0"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://www.neuroscience.cam.ac.uk/publications/download.php?id=40553" target="_blank">Theory of Mind & Autism: A Review by Simon Baron-Cohen, University of Cambridge</a></span></span></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Hyperlink0"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind" target="_blank">Theory of Mind via Wikipedia</a></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">And it's the subject of Simon Baron-Cohen's book, Mindblindness ~ which I haven't read so won't comment on further but it does have some very good reviews!</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-67585569235578781262018-06-16T21:47:00.001+01:002019-09-23T18:25:35.937+01:00A note to my children <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Find the thing you love to do & do it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When you find the thing you love to do, you will know it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">You will feel like you. You will know peace.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I found the thing I love to do only recently.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Doing it feels amazing.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Maybe I appreciate it more because I know the</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">alternative of being without & a bit of me</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">wishes I had my time again.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But then I wouldn't know you,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">& that love I would never trade.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So I don't regret a thing ... but I do know what</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">it feels like to find the thing you love to do & do it</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">& I wish that for each of you.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">To feel like you. To know peace. To love.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Your loving Mum xxx</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">A note to my children, An Affinity With A</span></td></tr>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-13209841031364678822018-06-11T13:13:00.001+01:002019-09-23T18:26:56.142+01:00Awe & Wonder ... Wonder & Awe<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This musing was captured & shared by me on social media last week.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Awe & Wonder Thoughts on Autism, An Affinity with A</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've worried since that some might have thought I was going a bit overboard with the awe & wonder bit.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But, in fact, I do often look at my children with awe & wonder. I often look at the world around with with wonder & awe. I think I only knew the meaning of a miracle when I met my first child, face to face, for the very first time ... when I was lucky enough to see 3D scans of my second & third, together. Well, they are miracles to me. Others will have other miracles ~ miracles will be a very personal thing, I'm sure.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I wonder in awe at the baby who learns to focus, smile, cry, roll & eventually, all being well, walk. At the bee gathering pollen & the butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, at the earth, the oceans, moon, & stars, at acts of human kindness & at many humankind creations (although not all).</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And the more I learn about autism & the autistic brain & how it manifests in so many different ways, the more in awe & wonder of life I become ... the more fascinated I become. I experience many other emotions too, mind ~ not all positive ~ but this post is about awe & wonder so I will attempt not to distract myself from that!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Autism related or not, I am in awe & wonder often. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But isn't it wild to think that the human brain is the most complicated object in the known universe (according to Michio Kaku, an American Physicist). </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Which sort of leads me to the original point of my musings of last week which were captured to shine a light on the fact that our general understanding of autism, of neurodiversity, is limited still & that we are all "different, not less" (quoting Temple Grandin) & when difference is understood, accepted & accommodated ~ by which I mean society works in a way that enables all differences to co-exist without prejudice (intended or otherwise) ~ when difference promotes genuine interest, then we've gotten somewhere.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, yeah, I stand by including awe & wonder.</span></div>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-63954638563581078232018-06-08T13:34:00.001+01:002019-09-23T18:32:41.014+01:00An' Another Fing ... about Alleviating Anxiety<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Last year I took my "other 'arf" to see </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Micky Flanagan's An' Another Fing show. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It was a birthday present. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, we went "out out" ~ a really "rare rare" occurrence. </span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I checked in on Facebook </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I said I was self-medicating laughter. </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And, actually, I really was. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was medicating for the other 'arf as much as for myself. For many many reasons ~ as anyone living with autism will understand ~ moments of stress & anxiety can easily & seriously outnumber moments of fun & laughter so I decided to prescribe one huge, hilarious hit of fun. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In those hours, all anxieties were alleviated.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And as I pondered our motivation for going & the positive impact at the time ~ & expanding on my last post about</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2018/05/accessing-school-assessments-with.html" target="_blank">Accessing School Assessments</a> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">~ I realised our going out out illustrated simply why making learning fun ~ or just having fun generally ~ for autistic kids is so necessary.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some might reasonably respond "everyone likes to have fun" "surely all kids benefit from a fun approach to learning" & some might expect all children to be capable of learning whether it's fun or not. Some might question why learning needs to be "more fun" for autistic kids for them to access? Isn't that just pandering to them? Surely they should just learn to get on with it, like everyone else."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well the answer lies above. For me, our experience of going out out is a good analogy that I hope anyone can appreciate. Autistic kids enter the school gates (assuming they get that far) with already heightened levels of anxiety (even if it doesn't show outwardly). For all sorts of reasons, their anxiety can very easily & very quickly reach levels that interfere with functioning & inhibit learning (again, even if it doesn't show outwardly). </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Creating a fun environment, making learning truly fun, has the tremendous power to replace the adverse, prohibitive feelings of anxiety, panic & fear with calming, positive feelings of happiness & joy & in this improved state, learning finds a crack of light through which to enter.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It can be the difference between feeling anxious & not. Fun ~ humour ~ has the power to alleviate anxiety.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Even just trying to touch your ears with the corners of your mouth can make you feel a bit better (although my</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">angel fish</a> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">have quickly become wise to that particular challenge!).</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is not a new theory. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm merely capturing a personal analogy to explain how & why such an approach to learning has been & is advocated by many autism experts. Here's a quote from Hans Asperger, as an example: </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>"These children often show a surprising sensitivity to the personality of the teacher. They can be taught ... by those who give them true understanding & affection, people who show kindness towards them & yes, humour ... The teacher's underlying attitude influences, involuntarily & unconsciously, the mood & behaviour of the child."</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And the Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) Society talk about it's importance within their online guide for educators ~ see the section headed</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> <a href="https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/education/educational-and-handling-guidelines" target="_blank">Humour, Pretending & Role Play</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, by drawing this parallel I hope I might encourage more to pursue & provide autism-friendly approaches to learning; to consider how they might help someone replace feelings of anxiety with more positive, more helpful feelings. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because you can't tell someone to calm down, to stop being anxious ~ just like you can't tell someone to laugh at a joke if it's not funny or have fun if it's not actually their idea of fun. Well, you can but it probably wouldn't get you very far.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Which prompts further words of warning which, I assume, any good comedian might echo: delivery has to be genuine (they have to care), content has to be relevant to the audience (they must enter, or inhabit, the same world), timing & a well placed pause is crucial (some things take longer to sink in, register & connect) & consistency is key (familiarity is more likely to be rewarded with loyalty & longevity).</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Of course, successful learning for autistic children is not solely dependent on good fun & humour ~ it's not just down to the star turn, their content & delivery. A lot lot else needs to be right right to minimise the risk of, & alleviate, autistic based anxieties ~ & to enable autistic children to access that fun (any fun, in fact). It's all too easy for them to end up on the sidelines, looking in, watching others have the fun ~ often they need extra assistance to access alongside their peers.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, from the getting ready & the journey in, arriving at & navigating the venue, the crowds, finding & securing the right seats, the environment, facilities & the ability to see & hear unimpeded to the actions of the wider audience. All of these are parallels. And, yes, many non-autistics might be impacted by any of these not being right ~ but many are unlikely to experience extreme, debilitating, panic attack level anxiety. Alleviating these anxieties ~ abating the freeze, flight or fight response ~ well, that requires everything to be right right.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Of course, such anxieties are not limited to learning & don't disappear on reaching adulthood (although, hopefully, strategies & experience helps individuals to better self-manage over time) but accessing learning has been a recent focus so I've stuck with that as the main anecdote.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">An' another fing ~ & this might be the autistic or the cockney in me (or both!) ~ but shouldn't it be </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>Creating a fun environment, making learning truly fun, has the tremendous power to replace the adverse, prohibitive feelings of anxiety, panic & fear with calming, positive feelings of happiness & joy & in this improved state, learning finds a crack of light through which to enter.</i></span></div>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-55693725263357275292018-05-25T17:17:00.002+01:002019-09-23T18:54:36.914+01:00Accessing School Assessments with a Sprinkling of Success<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Again, this wasn't the next article I was going to post.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In fact I’ve "authored" in my head at least one article a day, every day for the last few weeks ~ on the way home from the school run ~ but each has been deposited in the “action” tray in my mind. It's leaving me feeling “disabled” in terms of this blog, due solely to the sheer volume of articles I’m desperate to write, conscious I'm not enabling myself to start ~ finding it "easier" to distract myself with more "urgent" tasks & the never ending family oriented to dos (in other words being an autistic mum in an autism rich family).</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Which, ironically, links well to the focus of this article, & shows I have absolute empathy (yes, empathy*) with those of my</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">angel fish</a> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">facing school assessments after half term & so also the need to revise.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I hope the content resonates & proves helpful to others facing similar situations.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now, these particular angel fish just about manage with the homework they're </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">set. It takes effort to pick the moment, approach appropriately, inspire & motivate, but we ~ they ~ get there. Revision is a whole other ball game. Unlike homework where they're set tasks, revision can be far too conceptual, random, all encompassing to be easily approached or accessed, especially for the autistic brain. It’s far too easy to keep putting it off ~ to procrastinate ~ as we ruminate on how, what, where & when ... running the very real risk of avoiding altogether or, at best, leaving to the very last minute. But the after effects of avoiding altogether are not easily born by us. We are still perfectionists who hate to get things wrong &, worse still, be told we're wrong! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">My angel fish experienced this pain after a recent set of science assessments (a subject they actually enjoy & show aptitude for) which they approached unprepared. In contrast, their earlier maths assessments, for which they did prepare, were a relative breeze.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, whilst painful, this was a lesson effectively learnt with these angel fish acknowledging they’d prefer to feel like they did about their maths assessments rather than how they felt (& still feel) about their science assessments. In other words, they've properly learnt the value of revision!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now the coral castle door is open it doesn't mean it's any easier to swim through, especially when there's not just one coral corridor but an array of seemingly never ending coral corridors beckoning these nervous fish.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Thankfully, for those daring enough to explore, along each corridor there are many nuggets of learning to discover, all thoughtfully & creatively produced by their tutors especially for the task of revision. Collating all these wonderful materials resulted in a rather full lever arch file for each angel fish. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Picking up on what worked with their maths revision before, we agreed on a reward programme (angel fish need motivating, full stop!). They're collecting Pokemon cards just now so, for each revision task completed they receive one Pokemon card (I prepared a separate schedule of what constitutes tasks for each subject based on what revision materials had been provided, e.g. reading, making notecards, watching videos, completing exercises, etc). </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So the scene was set. I did worry at one point about the time taken to prepare ~ each extra day preparing was one less day available for revision ~ but having experienced their reaction, enthusiasm & willingness to engage (even unprompted) I'm thinking (as I already knew) that preparation was critical & time invested well!</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I know I'm going to have to make revision as fun as possible. Sitting them down with something to read (that they didn't necessarily want to read) would be a slow, painful &, in truth, pretty pointless process. So, picking up on one aide memoire ~ to choose different rooms for different subjects ~ I took the already very visual food tech' revision & brought it to life a little more, setting them challenges to label the food processor, name the numbered kitchen tools, complete challenges on the blackboard, group things correctly, etc. Here are some pics.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I'm so delighted with how they responded. One angel fish announced "this isn't revision, this is fun" almost as if it couldn't possibly count as real revision if it wasn't "not fun" and another angel fish was beside himself with pride for having completed a task "before school even". </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">They're actually looking forward to the next tasks...ish. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Just one problem ~ they're not the only one who'll be working hard at revising! I did attempt to "invite" another angel fish (with extreme avoidance tendencies) to help prepare some tasks (in the hope they too would absorb some learning ... & I would lighten my self-imposed load) but this angel fish is far too intelligent to be so easily duped & sussed my intentions immediately.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well, it just goes to show, you can't win 'em all.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now, we have some revising to do (</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">no doubt leading to an even fuller article action tray)!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>* As an aside about "empathy" : it's a popularly held belief that a key characteristic of being autistic is being devoid of empathy. However, others ~ including autistics ~ would say autistic people can be extremely empathetic. We can certainly feel unusually deeply & can experience extreme emotions. So far, for me, courtesy of The Aspie Coach, this is the best succinct description of autistic empathy I've come across ... although I'm of the opinion it's easier for us to recognise others' feelings & emotions if we've felt them for ourselves:</i></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/261631059582192294/" style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace;" target="_blank">Empathy Explained courtesy of The Aspie Coach via Pinterest</a><br />
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<br />An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-15288837100669620052018-04-13T16:11:00.000+01:002019-09-23T19:01:59.737+01:00Autism is an explanation, not an excuse<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I touched on autism being “an explanation, not an excuse” in my post <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.com/2018/02/autism-does-not-equal-bad-behaviour.html" target="_blank">Autism does not equal bad behaviour</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But it works both ways & by that I mean my autism does not excuse others’ bad behaviour either.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My autism is not a convenient excuse to exclude me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My autism does not excuse others’ lack of accommodation.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My autism is not a reason to ignore or dismiss me.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My autism does not justify exploiting my vulnerabilities</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I talk about my autism to help me overcome past difficulties & avoid them going forward ~ & for others like me.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I talk about my autism to recognise & promote my strengths ~ & those of others like me.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I talk about my autism to help you understand me because if you understand me you might accept me ~ & others like me ~ & you will know how to accommodate me ~ & others like me.</span><br />
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I talk about my autism in the hope that, together, we might achieve a better mutual understanding of each other & we might rub along together better, utilising each others’ strengths, supporting each others’ weaknesses, achieving more together ~ & others like us might do the same.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">.</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, in short, & to reiterate:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><i style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> "Autism is an explanation, not an </i><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><i>excuse.</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><i>I tell you I'm Autistic</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><i>to help myself, not excuse myself.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><i>I tell you I'm Autistic</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><i>to help you, not excuse you."</i></span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Autism is an explanation, not an excuse : An Affinity With A</span></td></tr>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-57826192009443135642018-03-16T13:08:00.000+00:002019-09-23T19:03:56.339+01:00Broken minds<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">I ruminate on this a lot, when I hear things like</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">"mind over matter”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">“where there’s a will there’s a way”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">“chin up”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> “be more resilient”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">Not about me, specifically, because I think my mental health is in an OK place. But for autistic people where acceptance, understanding & accommodation are lacking (assuming the autism has even been recognised in the first place), mental health issues can quickly arise. Then, for them, and anyone suffering with poor mental health, this is what I want to say.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_yM6duIWAhc/WqvBcfRi4lI/AAAAAAAAAhI/ZBNsaoJ_ziMdEuh2DjXATMaeV5dlj0SxACLcBGAs/s1600/Broken%2BMinds%2BWords%2BImage%2B2018%2B03%2B16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="728" data-original-width="960" height="302" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_yM6duIWAhc/WqvBcfRi4lI/AAAAAAAAAhI/ZBNsaoJ_ziMdEuh2DjXATMaeV5dlj0SxACLcBGAs/s400/Broken%2BMinds%2BWords%2BImage%2B2018%2B03%2B16.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Broken Minds : An Affinity With A</span></td></tr>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-75222769520597942842018-02-15T14:22:00.000+00:002019-09-23T19:05:05.984+01:00A quote on neurodiversity ...<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: large;">I've just started reading a </span><a href="https://www.cipd.co.uk/knowledge/fundamentals/relations/diversity/neurodiversity-work" style="font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">Guide on Neurodiversity at Work</a><span style="font-size: large;">, published this month by the Chartered Institute of Personnel & Development. It looks like it will be an enlightening read. It opens up with a quote from The Atlantic, written by Harvey Blume in 1998. </span></span><br /><span style="color: #666666;"><br /><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>"Neurodiversity may be every bit as crucial for the human race as biodiversity is for life in general. Who can say what form of wiring will be best at any given time."</i></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">Given current "unhelpful" coverage on autism in some parts of the media at the moment, I felt compelled to capture it & to share.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">Thanks also to The Guardian who are currently actively inviting disabled people to apply to </span><a href="https://workforus.theguardian.com/jobs/kin0001a5/" style="font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">train as journalists</a><span style="font-size: large;">. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">The more positive attitudes & approaches out there help me to set aside the less helpful. </span></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C7fb_yE_McY/WoWSLxQYigI/AAAAAAAAAgs/uPGPSroMrlwwQwqcYl5vVZlLQaNnTS4OACLcBGAs/s1600/Neurodiversity%2BQuote%2B2018%2B02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="682" data-original-width="682" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C7fb_yE_McY/WoWSLxQYigI/AAAAAAAAAgs/uPGPSroMrlwwQwqcYl5vVZlLQaNnTS4OACLcBGAs/s400/Neurodiversity%2BQuote%2B2018%2B02.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: x-small;">An Affinity with A</span></td></tr>
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<br />An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-48362392355566373492018-02-09T16:07:00.000+00:002019-09-23T19:13:02.586+01:00Autism does not equal bad behaviour<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was having another one of those conversations with myself (on this occasion in my head, rather than out loud). I think it started with me pondering the surprise some people show on hearing of my, or others', autism diagnosis. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It ended up with me needing to get this down.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>(For important caveat, see end of post!)</i></span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I </span><i style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">think</span></i><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> the surprise comes when the person said to be autistic doesn't fit the autistic stereotype. </span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">B</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">ut what's driving the stereotype? </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It made me think that, to the unknowing eye, autism is often only visible (to the point of being discussed) when behaviours arising from autism </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">disrupt other people's day to day. </span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In other words, many people's first known experience of autism is likely to be as an explanation for disruptive, adverse or bad behaviour (because that's what draws their attention to the person & then the condition).</span><br />
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Ergo, autism must equal bad behaviour. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And if you're not bad, you can't be autistic.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But autism</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>does not</i> equal bad behaviour.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Nowhere in the diagnostic criteria for autism is a requisite feature "bad behaviour". </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And, to my knowledge, no-one has been refused a diagnosis due to a lack of "bad behaviour"!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Rather, across a range of <a href="http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/criteria-changes.aspx##criteria" target="_blank">diagnostic manuals</a>, it is widely recognised that a diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder (or ASD) is reliant on a demonstration of </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">persistent difficulties with:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">~ Reciprocal social interactions,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">~ Social communication & of a</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">~ Restrictive, repetitive repertoire of behaviours, interests & activities (including sensory issues & behaviours)</span></div>
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This triad of "impairments", or differences, combine to explain a range of "</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">different" behaviours that may actually go unnoticed, are less disruptive (if at all) or are simply dismissed as being part of someone’s character ~ like them or not. In fact, desperate to please, to blend in & prone to needing rules ~ and to follow them ~ some autistic people may be the quietest & best behaved people in the room! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So it's important to understand that the behaviours autistic people exhibit (whatever they may be) are merely the outward manifestation of their condition; of coping (or not) with the difficulties they're having with social interactions, social communication, an inability to engage in their repetitive interest or as a result of sensory issues.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And what happens whey they can cope no longer?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some may withdraw, not speak, freeze with fear. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">People may think they're overly shy or nervous, maybe.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Others may run away, or flee with fear.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">People may think they're weak or spoilt or lacking resilience, maybe.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And others may lash out, or fight with fear.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">People may think they're naughty & badly parented, maybe.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Which scenario is most likely to generate enquiry, discussion, a discovery that person is autistic? </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And so the stereotype is further fuelled.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">However, all 3 behaviours are a sign that they're in crisis, scared, overwhelmed, in need of help. T</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">hey're not seeking attention or wilfully being mean or difficult.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Bad" behaviour is not acceptable, that's true. But to address any "limiting" behaviour appropriately requires an understanding of the cause. And when we say, this is happening because of the autism, we are not using a</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">utism as an excuse but as an explanation. </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Autism describes the condition that may lead to standout or limiting behaviours, sometimes "bad", often not.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And whether autism is contributing to the behaviour equation, or not, I would urge everyone to always think about what lies behind, or beneath, the behaviour of others. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">They just may need your help.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Me? I was (am) a "good girl" ... but that's another story!</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Image from Nathan Michael on Instagram via Tumblr & Pinterest</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Finally, a caveat (or get out clause): I may well have interpreted the surprise of others completely wrongly ~ interpreting hidden meanings & facial expressions is part of that whole "social interaction" and "social communication" conundrum us #AlsoAutistic people struggle with ... but I do think my thinking remains valid ... and I do know that sometimes, being super sensitive & observant, I can also be surprisingly astute!</i></span></div>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-12456981964411838502018-01-30T14:16:00.000+00:002019-09-23T19:24:48.754+01:00Castles and Quiches<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was filled with dread as more of my <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">angel fish</a> transitioned from the safety of their petting zoo to a nearby animal sanctuary last September.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s not an aquarium just for angel fish, or even a pond or a lake for all fish. And it’s not a safari park or zoo. (I know because I've visited them all!) But there are <a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" target="_blank">squirrels</a> & a myriad of species welcome at this particular animal sanctuary.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was filled with dread because moving from a petting zoo to an animal sanctuary can be disproportionately unsettling for angel fish. Changes & surprises are particularly scary & anxiety inducing to angel fish. And all that moving around from pen to tank, getting to know all those new animal handlers & all those new rules, mixing with the big fish, big squirrels & other big species, learning to be more independent ... well, it's really hard work, keeping it all together AND learning at the same time!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But this particular animal sanctuary is a hidden gem of a place, in my opinion. Caring & talented animal handlers guide, teach & encourage the angel fish, squirrels & other species lucky enough to be there, in my opinion.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">For angel fish, it’s particularly challenging. Mistakes are made. But they are helped to move on from these mistakes. Everyone works together, with genuine concern & interest, to learn from these mistakes ~ to understand the underlying cause & to try to prevent a reoccurrence. Not all angel fish are so fortunate. Not all angel fish find themselves in places where their angel fish ways are understood & supported. When they are, their confidence & self-belief reignites & grows. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And this has been evidenced by some truly joyous moments recently ~ so much so I could have swum with the salmon & danced with the dolphins!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I cannot describe the relief & sheer joy of hearing one angel fish say <i>"let's list all the things I'm good at"</i> (angel fish can often think they’re pretty “useless” even when presented with evidence to the contrary) ... of witnessing another angel fish deciding to have a go at something new ~ something they didn't have to do but wanted to do (angel fish often avoid trying new things, fearful of failure, of not being good enough, of not being perfect or looking foolish) ... of seeing your angel fish swim home with head held high, proud of what they've made (curtain walled castles & quiches to name but two) ... of hearing your angel fish pronounce <i>“it’s like you always say mum: if you do what you love, you’ll love what you do”</i> (my long standing, non original mantra). A mantra that is particularly pertinent to angel fish who can often find it difficult to engage. It’s why it’s so important to help them find things they enjoy & to use those interests to connect, to engage with other "less appealing" but often necessary activities.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, while I worried that the animal sanctuary might be too much for these angel fish, currently they are actually benefitting from the wider range of activities on offer & from what seems to be a standardised approach to fun, adapted lesson plans, making those activities more accessible (more angel fish friendly &, actually, still friendly & accessible to all species). </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And we are amassing content for their achievement books (started at a time when self-esteem was low to evidence ability, evidence the good days, evidence the “can dos”, evidence their talents).</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I know we're not out of the woods yet ... nor would we want to be as, one day, these little angel fish will be big angel fish & they will need to know how to survive in the wild, wild woods ... in </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">the great lakes, the deep blue seas & the rolling plains.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I'm feeling hopeful. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And I'm feeling thankful that these angel fish attend an animal sanctuary that seems to be a good fit for them ... & for me.</span></div>
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7325640390366932041.post-84003635490891124982018-01-18T09:31:00.000+00:002019-09-23T19:23:14.917+01:00Actually Also Autistic<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, here goes. I am no longer an autism amateur. Instead, it seems, I have much more of an affinity with autism than I first thought. So much so, in fact, that I might even venture to claim</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> I’m a bit of an autism expert, actually!</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because I’m actually also autistic.*</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">So diagnosed the clinical psychologist I spent several hours talking with one sunny day last September.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s one reason I’ve been a bit quiet here. Not because I’m bothered by the diagnosis, or unsure of speaking about it; just because, this being the case, I want to write any future posts with the open acknowledgement that I really am speaking from a position of authority ~ at times from personal experience ~ rather than simply as a relative & observer of others. And to mark the transition from observer to participant, I felt I needed to write this post first &, for that, I wanted to be in receipt of my final, physical diagnosis report which arrived in December.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">A bit of an early Christmas present to myself, actually, as with diagnosis came insight, understanding & acceptance. Not that it was a surprise to me. The more I'd been learning about autism the more I was recognising myself & the more true my acknowledged “affinity with a” became!</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why bother with a diagnosis & why share?</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well, if I'm to continue advocating for a better understanding, acceptance & accommodation of autism, I'd much prefer to do so from a place of truth, based on fact, with clear authority.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Also, </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">the personal benefits of diagnosis are huge & I share these in case anyone I know is asking as well as for the benefit of anyone else considering any kind of assessment of their own.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">First, in short, for me, it explains everything!</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In some ways I wish I'd known long before now. It could have saved much pain & heartache ~ forewarned would have been forearmed, for sure! </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But dwelling in the past is only helpful if it can make a positive difference to the future.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Herein lies a second, unexpected benefit: I can forgive myself for situations I now see arose from me operating differently. I'm not to blame ~ I simply wasn't programmed to see the risk, interpret or assess the situation accurately. I can stop beating myself up, use this new perspective to prepare my children & move on.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Third, I can plan for a more appropriate future, fully informed about how I operate, what I need ... & what I don’t need ... my weaknesses & my strengths.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Last, the biggest win is being able to empathise with</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> </span><a href="http://anaffinitywitha.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/albert-einstein-said_8.html" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;" target="_blank">angel fish</a><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">. </span></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;"> Their realisation that I really do “get them” generated a range of positive responses, from coy smiles to cheers & huge hugs.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But how come it hasn't been a problem for me? Well, for one, times have changed rather a lot since I was their age. And, actually, it has been a problem. There have been lots of problems but they just weren't necessarily visible or obvious. My diagnosis report states:</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">"... core difficulties ... not easily observed from the outside due to her incredible ability to mask .... She has worked extremely hard over the years to master skills & to learn & apply rules to enable her to survive the social world & to function as effectively as she does. She is intellectually competent, verbally articulate, has perfectionistic tendencies & has strengths in noticing detail, all of which have helped her enormously in learning to mask successfully by developing compensatory strategies. ... testament to her incredible resilience & resourcefulness."</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Therein lie some talents! I am happy with my diagnosis. I am happy to be me. I AM</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> autistic. Autism is my super power (I will credit whoever said this first when I find out who it was!) & I intend to use it! I've shown myself to be a great observer & strategist & have super strong senses!</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've a lot, LOT more I could say on the subject but I'll wrap up for now! I'm still experiencing many lightbulb moments about past events, conversations, experiences that I now see differently & "get", or at least wonder about. If I've made you wonder about anything, please feel free to ask ~ I'd be more than happy to share my thoughts.</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Meanwhile ... and please know this is said with kindness & comes from a place of self-preservation rather than challenge ... how you respond to this post says more about you than it does about me! </span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif; font-size: large;">(Another credit owing here.)</span><br />
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<span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finally, d</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">espite the challenges the current world presents, I can honestly say I'm so very proud of our autism rich family.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><i style="caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102); color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">* I've chosen my words carefully as #ActuallyAutistic is a phrase used by many autistic commentators to join together. I've previously interpreted #ActuallyAutistic as a bit challenging & a bit excluding of non-autistic commentators ... a bit "what gives you the right to speak on our behalf when we actually know what it's like to be autistic"? But while writing this article, I realise the world "actually" is defined as both a "statement of truth" & as a "statement of surprise" (& I've used both in this post). So now I don't know which was intended by the #ActuallyAutistic tag. But, in pursuit of clarity, I think I'll make a stand for using #AlsoAutistic as a more</i><i style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"> inclusive, non-excluding term. Because I believe there are many valid voices (autistic & non) that can come together to create volume & create change quicker. </i></span><br />
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An Affinity with Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13317291040089749956noreply@blogger.com4